Old man: Alright honey, let's go back to the hotel.
(starts walking in random direction)
Old woman: Honey, where are you going?
Old man: I don't know, the shiny lights all around us?
–Times Square
Old man: Alright honey, let's go back to the hotel.
(starts walking in random direction)
Old woman: Honey, where are you going?
Old man: I don't know, the shiny lights all around us?
–Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Did you take her to Wendy's or a restaurant? (pause) Aww…you love her!
–Diner, 14th St
Overheard by: Bess
Girl #1: How could you get drunk and do yoga?
Girl #2: I didn't do it on purpose!
–16tth & Broadway
Yuppie wannabe guy #1: I'm not trendy, am I?
Yuppie wannabe guy #2: No, you're not trendy.
Yuppie wannabe girl: No, no. You're not trendy. You're you. You're you.
–MetroNorth Harlem Line
Overheard by: M.A.
Frat boy: So, where are you going for the summer?
Preppy girl: Dead babies.
–C Train
Overheard by: Jacob
Crazy 20-something woman, screaming into cell: But where have you been? (sobs) I've been waiting for you. Where are you? (screaming louder) It's been hours, where are you? Where are you? How could you do this to me? Where are you?
(everyone on sidewalk turns around as she passes)
Man: It is way too early for that.
Woman: Yeah, that's the kind of call you make at 3 am, when you're drunk.
–Taxi Line, Penn Station
Overheard by: Nancy
Driver: Attention all passengers on the left side of the bus, I believe that the reading lights on your side are broken. I apologize.
Lady on the left side: Oh god, now what do we do?
Driver (muttering): Son of a bitch…take a nap!
–Bus, Port Authority
Overheard by: Sitting on the right side laughing
Mother: What's the name of the play?
Daughter: The Misanthrope.
Mother: How do you spell that?
Daughter: It's with an “e”
Mother: That doesn't help me.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: John Blaze
Homeless guy, giving umbrella to random white girl: This is for you. In case it rains. This (holding up alcohol bottle) is for me. You know why? Because I'm an alcoholic.
–Penn Station
Man to friend, about the Bruce Springsteen concert that night: You know what? If it starts raining, I'm just going to take off my shirt and scream the whole time.
–Penn Station
Girl: We're on an island, it doesn't snow here.
–St. John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ang
Vendor: Man, I know why we're having to pee so much! It's because it's colder and our bladders are shrinking.
–Flea Market, 82nd & Columbus
Overheard by: EthanK
Woman yelling to complete stranger: It's not raining anymore! It stopped raining! You're the only one with an umbrella!
–Port Authority
Girl on cell: My ex-boyfriend used to call the subway "The MTA," and I was like, "Yeah…this isn't working out."
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I would've dumped him too
Teenager on cell: If, hypothetically, what we had been doing was dating, then technically, hypothetically, he just broke up with me. Fucking douche.
–Finacial District
Cute girl: Don't you know the rules of break-ups? You have to clean out the drawer. You can't bring old lube to a new relationship.
–Essex & Grand
Overheard by: yaletownkid
Guy to friend: So you're telling me that I broke up with her because of lube?
–Park Slope
Guy on cell: Look, I know I said "forever." It's not your fault! To be honest, I just never really liked you that much!
–West 4th St. Subway Entrance
Preppy boy: That was the worst part about breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. She got a 50% discount at Polo!
–Bloomingdale's
