Girl: I love watching people on subways.
Guy: I know, right? I like making short poems 'bout them, too. (points discretely at JAP across subway car) “Slutty white girl looks around train. Adjusts boobs. Looks around again.”
–1 Train
Girl: I love watching people on subways.
Guy: I know, right? I like making short poems 'bout them, too. (points discretely at JAP across subway car) “Slutty white girl looks around train. Adjusts boobs. Looks around again.”
–1 Train
Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y’know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.
–One Penn Plaza
White hipster #1: Yeah, I just moved into a place in Bushwick. I’m the only black guy for, like, five miles.
Other white hipsters stare at him.
White hipster #1: What?
–Yale Club, Vanderbilt Ave
Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don't they know this is a free fuckin' country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I'm tellin you, now that Obama's elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck's up.
–Q63 Bus
Overheard by: filemeunder
Loud teenage guidette: He doesn’t date!
Ugly teenage guidette: Yeah, he’s gay or something. I heard—yeah.
Loud teenage guidette: No, no, he’s protestant—like religious. They worship this Chinese guy…
Ugly teenage guidette: Oh, I heard about that! They don’t date?
Loud teenage guidette: They don’t date white people.
–Starbucks
Conductor: This is a Manhattan-bound number three train; next stop is Sutter avenue-Rutland road; stand clear of the closing doors please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Please do not block the doors, stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Do not block the doors. Stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: For the last motherfucking time, do not block the fucking doors! I know you ghetto-ass niggas don’t care about school, but some people want to get the fuck to work! Stand clear!
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: I can’t fucking take this shit.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Morel Farember
Chick: So what are the most dangerous places in New York these days?
Dude #1: I don’t know. Hell’s Kitchen used to be the worst.
Dude #2: What about Harlem?
Dude #1: I guess Harlem’s still bad, but it’s not like it used to be where everybody would be waiting around to stab lost white people.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl's mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug-eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
Drunk black guy, to white couple: She don’t want your small white cock! She wants a big black cock, nine and a half inches!
White girl: Ewww! I hate black wiener.
–Hall & Myrtle, Clinton Hill
Overheard by: Luigi
Subway guitar player: This next song is for the Korean lady in the white coat sitting in front of me. Are you Korean?
Lady: No, I'm from Peru.
Subway guitar player: Oh, shit! I never met a Peru lady before.
–Uptown 2 Train
