Nerdy hipster guy: So that simplifies to 400-350, which is…?
Clearly hungover girl: Unnngggggg, a hundred?
Very effeminate black friend: Damn, girl, whatever happened to you? Never go full retard!
–Starbucks, Midtown
Nerdy hipster guy: So that simplifies to 400-350, which is…?
Clearly hungover girl: Unnngggggg, a hundred?
Very effeminate black friend: Damn, girl, whatever happened to you? Never go full retard!
–Starbucks, Midtown
Man to woman after hearing a man sing “Amazing Grace”: Maybe it was the all-retarded hour at church.
–Bronx
Overheard by: ClaRity
Headline by: bobofthejungle
Runners-Up:
· “Another Happy Sunday with Simon and Paula.” – again
· “But It Still Beats the All-Amputee Hour at the Strip Club.” – SNA
· “Flowers For AlgerNun” – Paul K.
· “From Midget Masses to Handicapped Hymns, Mega-Churches Pull Out All The Stops” – stacey
· “They’re Down with God” – Rostkowski
Woman: I don't mean to be mean, but you know, kids who are… underdeveloped mentally?
Man: Oh, retards?
Woman, relieved: Yeah!
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Myrtle&Carlton
Guy #1: I don't know what happened! She bought me a drink and then all of a sudden her friend tells me off!
Guy #2: What did you say?
Guy #1: Well I kinda told her she was socially inept.
Guy #2: Did you actually say that?
Guy #1: No, I said she was retarded.
–32nd & 5th
Overheard by: Amused
Black guy: You just made fun of someone with Down's Syndrome!
Hispanic girl: She kicked me!
Black guy (exasperated): Because she has Down's Syndrome!
–Union St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Chihuahua
Promoter, stopping college girls: Hey, do you girls like comedy?
Girls: (silence)
Promoter: Where are you two from?
(they look at each other, don't say anything)
Promoter: Helloooo? Where are you from?
(no reply)
Promoter: Are you guys retarded?!
(they storm off)
Girl #1 to girl #2: God! Someone would never say that to us in LA!
–Times Square
Overheard by: just visiting
Guy #1: I don't think you're retarded, you're just a douche.
Guy #2: Wait, but you say I'm retarded all the time!
Guy #3: You're just retarded in some ways.
Guy #2: I really don't think you're underestimating me enough.
–Elevator, Weinstein Hall, NYU
Mother: What do you have there?
Five-year-old daughter: My schedule.
Mother: Do you know what class you have first?
Five-year-old daughter: Mom, I'm not retarded.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Special K
Girl on cell: I'll adopt it, the state gives you money for retarded kids.
–48th & 6th
Guy to friend, disdainfully: And she's always like, "I work with Down syndrome kids," at… computer camp or some shit.
–4th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Shannon
Girl: I think he is sexually retarded.
–5th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Abdul Marcos
Glitzed up Jersey girl to friends: I look so good right now, it's retarded.
–Ladies Room, Penn Station
Older man on cell: My dog has one of those retard vests, he can get into any restaurant in New York.
–W 23rd St & 6th Ave
Queer #1: Let's go see a movie.
Queer #2: Okay… What do you want to see?
Queer #1: Let's go see Milk.
Queer #2: Isn't that about a retarded man who becomes President?
–Cosi, 15th St
