Guy, looking at historic buildings: This is the kind of thing they should have taught us in school.
Girl: Yeah, there's a lot of things that schools didn't teach us.
Guy: I think a bug just flew into my nose.
Girl: What?
Guy: It's squirming around in there. It's really uncomfortable. I don't know what to do about it.
–Governor's Island
Overheard by: Kevin
Student: How are you grading the papers?
Teacher: Well, at home I have these two hats. In one hat I put the names of all the students. In the other hat I put all of the possible grades…
–NYU
Guy: It’s the sort of class where the value of Greek civilization is assessed by expressing its estimated GDP as a fractal.
–Columbia University bookstore
Overheard by: Tim Wolfe
Asian stereotype #1: Yeah, if I'm not valedictorian, I'll definitely be in the top ten.
Asian stereotype #2: Wait, but aren't there like thirteen people in the top ten?
–1 Train
Overheard by: non-stereotype Asian
Hard hat: This is my idea, okay? Seriously, don’t try and steal it, because I think I can make this happen. Ready? The Fab Five visit Dog the Bounty Hunter’s show, and they give Dog and his whole crew a makeover.
–Construction site, 26th & 6th
Overheard by: Big Perm
Black aesthetician, discussing Flavor of Love: I know that show’s gonna set my people back 50 years, but I just gotta watch it.
–Staff room, NYC Day Spa, 57th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: massage therapist lurking nearby
Jock: Last night we were so wasted we got naked and mounted the ram….and then watched Fraggle Rock.
–Rose Hill Cafeteria, Fordham
College student: Watching Dawson’s Creek is like studying for the SATs.
–St. John’s University
Nerdy teen: Oh my God, a refrigerator with a television in it. My life’s dream has just been realized.
–Best Buy, 23rd & 6th
Overheard by: nicolette
Amateur media scholar: It’s not called Lost because they’re lost. It’s called Lost because the audience can’t follow it.
–R train
20-Something guy to his date: But if you don’t have a television, how do you watch porn?
–Koi, 40th & 6th
Overheard by: UniqueNY
Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!
–Astor Place
Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?
–9th St, Park Slope
Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?
–NYU
Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.
–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Mad
Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.
–Broadway
Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!
–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Very enthusiastic female undergrad: And there were a bunch of questions on the test about sadomasochism, and I was like, “yes! I know everything!”
–Hunter College
Overheard by: And I'm Paying How Much in Tuition?
Crazy hobo, looking up from intense argument with imaginary friend: Excuse me, sir!
Confused suit: Uh, yeah?
Crazy hobo: What kind of teacher are you?
Confused suit: Teacher?
Crazy hobo: Yes, what subject do you teach?
Confused suit: But, um, I'm not a teacher…
Crazy hobo: Oh. Well, that's alright. Don't think I was criticizing you. I guess it's alright if you're not a teacher. I wasn't insulting you!
–6th & Spring
Overheard by: Heather
Student conducting survey: Would you like to take a survey?
Girl: What's it about?
Student: Well, I can't tell you what it is about, but it only takes three minutes, and if you don't like it, you can stop at any time and still get a . . .
Girl, cutting him off: Okay, but it won't make me want to kill myself like every other survey I take?
–Columbia University, Lerner Hall
Girl: Why does the 10:15 movie have to be sold out?
Guy: Because a bunch of losers were in front of us.
Girl: Just like in high school.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
