Girl: We were in the middle of having sex, and I was screaming, like, “Oh god, oh god.” He looked down at me and replied, “There is no God. I am your God.”
Guy: Uh huh.
Girl: It sucks because since then I haven’t been able to sleep with atheists. You’re not an atheist, are you?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
Girl #1: We only fucked for like 2 minutes.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: He has ADD.
Girl #2: Is that, like, when the person has more than one personality?
Girl #1: No, I wish. Role playing would be a lot easier.
–Hunter College North-West bridge
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Girl: I can’t stop thinking about having sex with you.
Guy: Uh, aren’t you being a little loud about that?
–University & 8th
Overheard by: Lauren
Queer #1: Oh, I don’t know which one to try.
Queer #2: Why don’t you scoop them all up and put them in your purse?
Queer #1: I didn’t bring my purse today, Rose.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Dawn
Student guy: I was going to ask if we could talk about prisons next.
NYU President John Sexton: You want to talk about prison sex?
–Vanderbilt Hall, Washington Square South
Guy #1: Where’s DeShawn at?
Guy #2: Nigga’s probably fucking that bitch from Saturday night, that nigga is a pimp.
Guy #3: Nah dude, he’s at play practice.
–6 train
Drunk girl: This fucking MetroCard doesn’t work?
Sober guy #1: The train is about to come, what’s taking you so long, bitch?
Drunk girl: Excuse me cute guy, can you help me?
Sober guy #2: Of course.
Drunk girl: You see, asshole? The cute guy helped me; I’m going to fuck him tonight.
–1st Avenue station
Girl #1: So did you guys fuck all night?
Girl #2: Yeah, till I had to stop to smoke a cigarette because I needed to throw up…I felt so fat just laying there while he rabbit-humped me.
–The Met
Overheard by: Aubrey DiScalo
