Chick: Are you saying you would have anal sex with my lifeless body?
Guy: No. No, I’m not. I’m insinuating it.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Chick: Are you saying you would have anal sex with my lifeless body?
Guy: No. No, I’m not. I’m insinuating it.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Asian girl: I really like sleep sex.
White girl #1: What’s that?
Asian girl: You know, when you’re sleeping and you wake up and you’re having sex. Sleep sex.
White girl #2: You mean getting raped?
–1st Avenue & 9th Street
Guy #1: So I had ex sex last night.
Guy #2: How was it?
Guy #1: Amazing as always, but now I’m fucked cause she’s gonna start calling me again.
Guy #2: Imagine that, you sleep with someone and then they call you…Crazy.
–1 train
Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.
–Irving Plaza, Irving Place
Overheard by: Johnny Tremain
Drunk guy: Don’t you fuck with me!
Sober woman: What?
Drunk guy: You sleep with a different guy every night!
Sober woman: I do not. What are you talking about?
Drunk guy: You love…me. You want to marry…me.
Sober woman: This is ridiculous. I’ve had enough. I don’t have to take this anymore. Goodbye!
She leaves. He turns to the next table.
Drunk guy: Yeah, did you see that girl who just left? I just dumped her. Can I buy you two a drink?
–Rosie O’Grady’s, 7th Avenue
Woman: Our biggest problem with sex was that he came too fast, because he was so into me. So now he uses desensitizing condoms, and that works a lot better, especially because it takes me a really long time to have an orgasm with him.
Woman: I was really anxious, so I went to my GP and she prescribed Klonopin. That completely took my anxiety away, but then my doctor said that she didn’t feel that that was a good long-term drug. I guess I agree with that. I did take one Klonopin on the plane yesterday, but that was okay because it was just a recreational Klonopin.
Woman: Now that I’m a wife I thought I should be more proper, but it turns out he likes me slutty.
Woman: I think the most passionate sex I will ever have will be during some really passionate adulterous affair. I would have to make a really conscious decision not to have an affair; it would be like fourth-order cognition.
–Indus Valley, 100th & Broadway
Hipster girl #1: So you’re still writing songs and performing?
Hipster girl #2: Uh huh.
Hipster girl #1: And you’re also acting, right? And modeling too?
Hipster girl #2: Yeah.
Hipster girl #1: Which would you say you’re most passionate about?
Hipster girl #2: I guess I’d have to say the modeling.
–A train
Overheard by: Ayana
Chick: You’ve had the greatest sex with me. Right?
Guy: Yeah. I guess…
–Hi-Life, 83rd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Hilla
Girl on Nextel: Oh baby, you shoulda woke me up…We coulda done the do again.
–Commerce Bank, 42nd & 9th
Overheard by: Meghan
Girl: We were in the middle of having sex, and I was screaming, like, “Oh god, oh god.” He looked down at me and replied, “There is no God. I am your God.”
Guy: Uh huh.
Girl: It sucks because since then I haven’t been able to sleep with atheists. You’re not an atheist, are you?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl: Well, as a lesbian, it’s not something I understand…
Guy: You mean, she’s a size queen?
Girl: I didn’t say that…but I don’t get it.
Guy: I don’t get it either. I mean, I’ve slammed into someone’s cervix, and it didn’t look like that was too fun for her.
Girl: Well, I guess you have nothing to worry about.
–Under The Volcano, East 36th Street
