Commuter chick: I had this crazy dream last night.
Friend: Yeah?
Commuter chick: Yeah, I was on a magic carpet ride.
Friend: Wow, how’d it feel?
Commuter chick: Like a rug.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: medic
Commuter chick: I had this crazy dream last night.
Friend: Yeah?
Commuter chick: Yeah, I was on a magic carpet ride.
Friend: Wow, how’d it feel?
Commuter chick: Like a rug.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: medic
Hobo standing and applauding as Asian guy walks by: Yeah! Woo-hoo! You’re Chinese! Yeah! Go for you! Woo!
Asian guy: I don’t have the heart to tell him I’m Korean.
–8th & 6th
Man to woman and her friend pushing a stroller: Listen, Jeanie, you like my sperm, and I like your car. I’m sure we can make a deal.
–60th & Central Park South
Firefighter after getting a call: Hey, boss, how many one-way streets do you think I can drive down the wrong way?
–Pathmark under Manhattan Bridge
Overheard by: tj
Midwestern woman in preppy clothes sticking head out passenger window of sedan: Excuse me, we’re trying to merge…
–Waiting to enter Lincoln Tunnel
Overheard by: Angela
Homeless musician with Casio keyboard plays entire intro to ‘Oye Como Va,’ then sings: Oye como va, ba da da, blah blah blah blah blah! [Abruptly stops] Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s what you get for not having a car.
–L train to Williamsburg
Overheard by: Subway Goer
Spanish guy: She’s half Spanish.
Black woman: No, she’s black.
Spanish guy: No, she’s half Spanish.
Black woman: She ain’t no half Spanish. Her name is Juanita. That don’t sound Spanish to me.
–Holiday Inn, 57th & 10th
Overheard by: CGS
Old black guy #1: You know who really has their shit together?
Old black guy #2: Who?
Old black guy #1: The Amish.
Old black guy #2: For sure.
–F train
Dude: Is the Banana Republic a real place?
Chick: … I think so. They wouldn’t lie, would they?
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Laura M.
Dude #1: I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Dude #2: Ummm… Hmmm.
–F train
Dude #1: So, you know The Vagina Monologues are coming, right?
Dude #2: Yeah, are you going to get them in your studio?
Dude #1: Yeah, I’m hoping to get some recordings.
Dude #2: So, they really talk out their vaginas?
Dude #1: No, it’s like a play or something.
Dude #2: Oh, I thought they, like, spread their legs and… I mean, I thought it was hardcore.
Dude #1: No.
Dude #2: They should do that, though.
Dude #1: Yeah.
–Gym
Late-20s woman: Up until six months ago, I thought Europe was a country. I just didn’t know…
–6 train
Overheard by: 21 and knows better
Social butterfly: Williamsburg? Where is that? Pennsylvania?
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: the bfd
Dude: What? You’re not from Illinois, you’re from Chicago!
–Cheesecake Factory
Female tourist: Where’s Chicago, again? Oh, that’s here in New York, right?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Astonished woman: Los Angeles is not a state!
–Outside Javits Center
Overheard by: Tara
Asian tourist chick: Is this considered the West coast?
–Max Brenner, Union Square
Blonde chick: Oh my god, so there’s this playwright who died, and they’re like, putting on a re-… re-… Well, like, whatever it’s called, they’re putting it on. They’re reading some lines. But anyway, like, her brother who, like, my dad like, used to work with — well, he’s dead, too. And I’m like, ‘Why are you hanging out with your girlfriend’s daughter when I’m your real daughter?’
Friend: Oh my god, you should totally bitch him out.
Blonde chick: Oh, I will.
–Elevator, NYU residence hall
