Woman, looking at fossil: So is this like, a thing, or did someone make this up?
–Museum of Natural History
Woman, looking at fossil: So is this like, a thing, or did someone make this up?
–Museum of Natural History
Girl #1: That was really fun. We should do it again really soon.
Girl #2: Okay, great! Like when?
Girl #1: I dunno. I was just sayin’.
–13th St
Overheard by: Jordan Green
Daughter: One of my clients who is 6 years old can break dance. Like literally do handstands and drop down on his head and spin around. It’s pretty cool.
Father: Is he black?
Daughter: Half black, half white, but he looks like he is white.
Father: Oh, so he’s lightly dipped?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Ali
Guy, watching a toddler have a meltdown on the sidewalk: Where’s Susan Smith when you need her?
–Hudson & Jane
Overheard by: jose clunie
College girl: Mom, I can’t babysit them. Mom! Listen to me! I’m sorry, I don’t like babies. I find we have very little in common.
–34th & Broadway
Lady: I don’t know if that woman ever found her baby’s head!
–King’s County civil court, Brooklyn
Overheard by: kate s
Mother to infant: I’m so glad you’re getting a personality now! You used to just sit there and bore the fuck out of me. I wasn’t sure if I was going to love you! You’re not going to remember that, are you? [to friend] Is she?
–Water St & Hanover Sq
Overheard by: zack
Guy surrounded by kids: You’re all a bunch of savages. Little savages, that’s what you are!
–151st & Broadway
Overheard by: Pants
Woman to baby in stroller: No crying! Crying is unacceptable. I don’t care how bored you are. [to clerk] Does this come in pink?
–J Crew, Tme Warner Center, Columbus Circle
Lady on cell: No, she don’t like anyone. She mean as shit…Nah…Nah…She don’t even like her own children.
–Port Authority
Overweight hobo: The only things I look forward to in life are mayonnaise and sex!
–57th & 7th
Woman on cell: When sex turns into math, you’ve got trouble on your hands.
–Union Square
Overheard by: McFreaky
Chick, screaming into cell: What a bitch! I swear, it’s getting harder and harder to fuck your co-worker and get away without people finding out!
–JFK
Overheard by: Pixie
Realist on cell: Well you can’t expect every guy you sleep with to call you back.
–53rd & 6th
Man to female date: So, basically, you sleep with people out of hilarity?
–St Mark’s & 2nd
Overheard by: Diane
Business woman: No, I told her I’d rather have sex with my husband than buy her products. And then she hung up on me.
–Chipotle, 22nd & 6th
Girl: …and when he came back, it looked like he had herpes! Herpes everywhere!
Queer: And you still hit that?
Girl: Well, it looked like he did, but it was dark and I wasn’t sure.
–Spring & W Broadway
Girl: Am I ugly?
Boy: Animal-human hybrids should be slaughtered.
Girl: What?
Boy: Nothing, sweetie.
Girl: Oh. For a second I thought you were being mean or something.
–Roxy cafe, John St
Skater dude #1: I am mad smart, yo. My parents won’t even tell me my IQ. It’s so high they’re afraid to.
Skater dude #2: I seriously doubt that, man.
Skater dude #1: No, my sister’s way smart. She’s getting her Master’s degree, and my parents told me mine was higher than hers.
Skater dude #2: Dude, she could be smart but you could totally not be. It skips a generation.
Skater dude #1: Not in my family it doesn’t.
–3rd St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: eiaboca
Woman #1: Oh my God, it looks just like a peach without the fur!
Woman #2: That’s called a nectarine.
–Whole Foods, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Peter Brown
Mother: See, it says these are endangered deer from China.
Tween daughter: I guess they are from China. Look at their slanty eyes!
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Nina Drummond
