Hence the Baseball Tickets

Guy #1: Before I forget, I got four Yankee tickets for us tomorrow night. I’m gonna bring my father.
Guy #2: Did you get these tickets from a scalper?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: Well, the Yankees don’t play in December. Neither does any other team. Baseball season ended almost two months ago, dumbass. You got fuckin duped. How much did you pay for these?
Guy #1: Ah, shit. Like a hundred bucks.
Guy #2: Dumbass.
Guy #1: Then why did my father ask me to get tickets for tomorrow night’s game if they’re not even playing?
Guy #2: I don’t know. He’s probably a dumbass like you. You’re a whole family of dumbasses.

–Starbucks, 42nd & Broadway

Posted on December 27, 2005
Guys, Idiots, Stupidity, Times Square, Yankees

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day…

Old lady #1: Even when they say “happy holidays” to me, I say “merry Christmas” back.
Old lady #2: Good for you.

–34th & 7th

Overheard by: Kenneth Grider

Woman: So when is Christmas this year?
Man: Um. I think it’s on Sunday this year.
Woman: No, I mean what date is it?

–Clinton Hill

Overheard by: Megan Winget

Posted on December 25, 2005
Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Holidays, Idiots, Old People, Religion, Stupidity

You Speak English?

Guy #1: …and I’m like, “Holy shit! What’s your fucking problem?” Sorry, excuse my French.
Girl: It’s okay, I’m not offended.
Guy #2: You speak French?

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Kay Baby

Posted on December 23, 2005
Coney Island, Idiots, Languages, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Words

Just Take Three Cars, Like Columbus

Girl #1: So Becca’s gonna drive to California from here?
Girl #2: Nope, she’s taking a plane.
Girl #3: Ha, ha! Yeah, duh! Wow, you’re stupid! How could you drive across the ocean?

–LaGuardia, Amsterdam Avenue

Overheard by: Amelia

Posted on December 22, 2005
At the Airport, Girls, Idiots, Stupidity, Travel, U.S. Geography

The Wednesday One-liners Welcome to NY

Man: Is this where we get off?

–Times Square shuttle

Posted on December 21, 2005
All Wednesday One-Liners, Men, On the Subway, One-liners, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Times Square, Travel

Someone Needs to Go to the Learning Annex

Man: Watch where you’re going.
Woman: Why don’t you get out of the way?
Man: Fuck you, lady.
Woman: You come from the land of yonder where animals exist!

–23rd Street F station

Overheard by: jill Bee

Posted on December 20, 2005
Animals & Nature, Assholes, Crazies, Insults, Stupidity, Subway Stations

Mike’s Hard Plasma

Girl: So we were all really drunk one night and someone said we should all drink our blood.
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: So we cut ourselves and dripped blood into this cup and passed it around. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen…we were really drunk.
Guy: That’s really not good. That’s really bad.
Girl: …But we were really drunk.

–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street

Overheard by: jesse kay

Posted on December 20, 2005
Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movie Theaters, Psychology, STDs, Stupidity

You Sure Can Catch Boogers

Guy: Can I help you?
Woman: You got boogers.
Guy: What?
Woman: You got boogers on your hand. I don’t want it.
Guy: I got allergies.
Woman: Well, whatever it is, I don’t want it!
Guy: You can’t catch allergies…

–Times Square station

Overheard by: Anton I

Posted on December 19, 2005
Assholes, Guys, Illness, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Talking/Convos, Women

The Unlikeliest Sleeper Cell

Conductor: This is the last stop, New York Penn Station. All passengers must exit the train. Last stop.
Chick #1: Is this our stop?
Chick #2: Did he say Penn Station?
Chick #3: This is so confusing. It’s not like taking a plane, where you know your destination.

–NJ Transit train, Penn Station