Local: What are you in line for?
Tourist lady: The Producers.
Local: This is the ‘Play Only’ line.
Tourist looks at him blankly.
Local: You can only get tickets for plays at this window.
Tourist lady: What’s a play?
Local: Uh… Like, not a musical.
Tourist lady: What, you mean, like a movie?
–Ticket booth, 46th St
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Disaffected white woman #1: Stella*'s kid died last week.
Disaffected white woman #2: Oh. Well, it sucks when someone's kid dies before they expect it to… oh, Topshop's having a sale!
–Broome & Broadway
Overheard by: office peon will soon be a Vermonter
Realtor #1: New York is a great place to move to. They say if you can’t make it here, you can’t make it anywhere.
Realtor #2: Anthony, that’s not what they say. It goes, “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”
–2nd & Houston
Girl: Damn, when my grandmother see me in this, she gone have a strizzoke!
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Teen boy #1: Heather got raped.
Teen boy #2: What?
Teen boy #1: She got drunk and he took advantage of her. She told me. She got curvy lips, though.
–Brooklyn Public Library
Overheard by: caitlin
Little girl to her mother: You know what is ironic? That sign says, "Learn English."
–Downtown 6 train, 42nd St
Girl: Don’t walk me behind me, I’m about to fart.
–Times Square station
Girl: God, it smells like an armpit farted in here.
–Rififi, E. 11th Street
Overheard by: Miso
Guy on cell: Baby, baby, please, listen, I just, I’m almost there, c’mon, I’m comin’ up on your building now, baby, don’t be like that! Look out the window and you’ll see me! Shit, you can smell me, baby.
–12th & D
Fratboy: My shorts smell like a little boy’s balls.
–Coney Island beach
Overheard by: Alissa
Woman: Just so you know, it smells like someone urinated in there.
–Banana Republic, 16th & 5th
Overheard by: beth wren
Chick: Oh my God! I forgot I was in New York!
–Astor Place
Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'?
(friend points to cars)
Girl: Oh.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads.
–49th & 9th
Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts
