Stupidity

Guy: …so he digs stuff like Fahrenheit 451 and all–
Girl: “451”? Er, 9-11, you mean.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Cap’n MidNite

Chick #1: I’d love to go on a road trip. I haven’t been on a road trip in forever!
Chick #2: Oh, I’ve never done a road trip.
Chick #1: You’ve never been on a road trip?
Chick #2: No. I don’t ride bikes.

–53rd & Madison

Overheard by: Cindy Gordon

Large maintenance man #1: Yo, you remember your little girl you left a while back?
Large maintenance man #2: Fuck, man, why you gotta bring that up?
Large maintenance man #1: I think I fucked her last night.
Large maintenance man #2: How the hell would you know that?
Large maintenance man #1: ‘Cause she made that face you make when you lift shit.

–15th St & Union Sq West

Overheard by: margo

Princess #1: I had to run to the cafeteria and get fro-yo because my stomach was growling in class! How embarrassing is that?
Princess #2: Oh my god. That is my worst nightmare.

–Fordham University Rose Hill

Overheard by: stine

Hobo to teen girl with an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt: Fitch…Fitch… How can you wear a shirt like that? Multimillion dollars…when there's so many bigger problems? Stupid…stupid.
Girl: Um, excuse me?
Hobo: How much they pay you to wear that around?
Girl (with attitude): Four. Thousand. Dollars.
Hobo: I..
Girl (interrupting): An hour.
Hobo: Oh, okay, understandable.

–Central Park

Overheard by: heygirlhey

Guy: Hey, I’m lookin’ for a book.
Lady behind the counter: Um, okay. Did you have any particular one in mind?
Guy, laughing: No. Hell no. I don’t fuckin’ read. I’m just lookin’ for something I can take over to Central Park so I can get hit on by chicks who think I’m smart and shit.
Lady behind counter: Try Nietzsche.

–Barnes & Noble, Broadway between 82nd & 83rd

Woman #1: Paris was disappointing. I went there to see two things: the Eiffel tower and the Mona Lisa. I didn't get to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, there were too many smelly tourists in the elevator. And the Mona Lisa was the size of a postcard.
Woman #2: Oh, you didn't go to the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
Woman #1: Ummm…that's in Italy.

–Starbucks, 66th & 3rd

Overheard by: Sofia Dante

Woman #1: …so some asshole put what I said about my sex life on this site, OverheardInNewYork.com.
Woman #2: What’s that?
Woman #1: Some website where people put up what they overhear.
Woman #2: Oh, don’t worry, nobody probably goes to those sites anyway.
Woman #1: Yeah, you’re probably right.

–21st St. & 6th Ave.

Overheard by: Tommy Wooh

Drunk guy: Oh, kick that dart! I mean dog. I mean, is that a puppy? Oh, it’s a ball.
Teen boy: It’s a ball, are you blind?

–96th & Broadway

Mailman: I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know where this package is. It was undeliverable. It is not here.
Human man: I know. This is the third time I’ve been down here. So what do you want me to do?
Mailman: Sir?
Human man: What do you want me to do? Give up, keep coming back?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: What? Give up?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: You’re serious?
Mailman: Yes.

–Post office, 34th & Lexington

Overheard by: Fish