Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Suit: Sometimes I want to ask Dan* if he’s gay. I can’t figure out if he is or not.
Woman: Is he flamboyant?
Suit: Yeah, but that could be because he’s a southerner.
–550 Madison Ave
Overheard by: DrDorn
Male suit: That book you’re reading — Any Bitch Can Cook! — that’s funny.
Female suit: You know what ‘bitch’ stands for, right?
Male suit: What?
Female suit: Babe in total control of herself.
Guy at next table: I dunno. I know some bitches who are totally out of control.
–Chinese restaurant, Montague St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Suit: So that’s odd — your friend is into gay, World War Two German Army porn.
Hipster: It’s actually not as weird as you think.
Suit: I see.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Jasper
Suit: I was up in Toronto last week. It was nice, but it was really cold.
Guy: Yeah, it’s beautiful up there, but they get winter really early. It’s like that Shakespeare line, ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’
Suit: [Befuddled silence.]
–LIRR into Penn Station
Overheard by: It was Dickens, DickWad
Newspaper guy: Free Post! Free New York Post right here!
Suit: Not if you paid me.
Newspaper guy: Yeah, don’t blame you… Free Post!
–Wall St & Broadway
Overheard by: NYT reader
Crazy guy: Have you ever sniffed some good ass?
Suit: Huh?
Crazy guy: Have you ever smelled some really good asshole?
Suit: I would say… yes, I have. But I don’t really want to discuss it with you, okay?
–E 42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Big Larry
Headline by: space coyote
Runners-Up:
· “It’s Between Me and My Mother” – King of the Jews
· “It’s really more a question of taste…” – Rusty
· “Not now, Dad.” – again.
· “Wall Street’s Don’t Sniff and Tell policy” – Ceetar
· “What Happens at an HMO-covered Therapy Session” – Barry Negrin
Puerto Rican girl to another: I never dated a white guy, ’cause they got bad taste in underwear.
–Subway station, Times Square
Overheard by: Mama
Chick: … So I was dancing in the kitchen in my underwear and I looked out the window and the orthodox Yeshiva student guy that lives across the building from me was just staring open-mouthed. I’m never gonna open the curtains in the kitchen again.
–181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Mother to toddler son: Now, honey, close your eyes. This isn’t for you.
–Frederick’s of Hollywood, King’s Plaza
Queer: I totally go out of my way to wear edible thongs to work.
–Library Bar, Houston & Ave A
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Teen girl quickly descending staircase: I didn’t wear a bra again today. My boobs are bouncing down these stairs!
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Suit on cell: Well, I mean, I have thongs… But I really don’t consider those underwear…
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Laura
Screaming hobo: … But you know she was artificially inseminated by aliens!
Suit: Wait… Who?
–NYU
Suit #1: I don’t know why you only take pictures of dead golfers.
Suit #2: Haha… I know.
–E 64th St & Park
Female Rangers fan to Rangers: Come on, ladies!
Suit: Haha! ‘Ladies.’ That’s so funny. I don’t really get it, but I know it’s funny.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Jess McGins
