Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
Suit #1: Hey, did we ever find out how Chris Penn died?
Suit #2: Yeah. He died of being a big, fat fuck.
–50th between 6th & 7th
Businessman lady: I’ll have a light latte please, with brown sugar. You do have brown sugar, don’t you?
Countergirl: Um, no.
Businessman lady: Well, then give me your finest, finest grade sugar, all right?
Countergirl: Oh. Sure.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 93rd & 1st
Overheard by: Gina Loiacono
Suit #1: So, they fired everyone in your department, but they offered you to stick around for two months and help them with the transition period?
Suit #2: Yeah, they said that there was a very good chance they would keep me on a permanent basis if everything went well.
Suit #1: And you said…
Suit #2: I told them to go fuck themselves. I mean, you can’t come into my house, rape my mother, and then expect me to go out drinking with you.
–3 train
Overheard by: J.J. Taveras
Woman: So the Olympics are in Italy?
Man: Yeah, Torino.
Woman: Where’s that?
Man: Italy.
–Bryant Park
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Suit #1: So how many tombstones do we have?
Suit #2: Four.
Suit #1: All right. So we got the client, the CPA and the attorney…We gotta figure out how to get one more person involved.
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: E.B. Dresner
Woman: I see you will be engaged by the end of the year!
Businessman lady: Great!
Woman: So can I give you a full reading?
Businessman lady: No thanks, I got a fortune cookie in my lunch.
–28th & Park
Suit on cell: Hey, yeah…Yeah, I just got back from 100 Centre Street. Yeah, Georgie Boy was drooling over counselor’s dick…You know, Georgie Boy: Boy George…That’s right, on his knees drooling over counselor’s dick. Moron lives on Mulberry, right around the corner from 100 Centre Street. They found like six bags of blow, says lots of people stay there, not his, whatever. But he’s shitting in his diaper…What?…Yeah, just six bags, whatever. But he’s drooling over counselor’s dick. I told him, “Don’t worry Georgie Boy”–we only call him “Georgie Boy”–I told him, “Don’t worry, you have a Jewish lawyer.” Do you really want to blow me?…Huh? What?…No!
–Russian & Turkish Baths, East 10th Street
Overheard by: Trey Desolay
