WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint.
–A train
Overheard by: Lia
Girl: Do you know they make cameras without film now?
–L train
Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!
–11th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: jayKayEss
Suit #1: I’ve never had a hooker before.
Suit #2: Neither have I but I feel ready now.
–Bleecker & Grove
Overheard by: ED Aston
Guy: Hey a six-legged lamb was born in Belgium over the weekend.
Girl: Are they sure it wasn’t a four=legged spider?…I mean, a six-legged…I mean, a spider with wool?
–Office, Flatiron Building
Overheard by: Peter H
Suit: Who needs variety when we got fucking spiderlambs?
–51st & 6th
Old woman: Excuse me sir, do you have the time?
Suit: 8:45.
Old woman: Is that New York time?
–47th & 3rd
Lady #1: I didn’t know what to do, so I took a used tissue out. But I
was so embarrassed.
Lady #2: It’s better than letting it drip on the table.
Lady #1: Yeah…
Lady #2: Sometimes the office gets so hot, people come in tank tops.
Lady #1: I know.
Lady #2: One time I went to a meeting and a drip of sweat fell from my head. I was mortified.
Lady #1: Oh my god.
Lady #2: Now I make sure I stand in an air-conditioned room for 15
minutes before going to a meeting. That was one of the most terrible days of my life.
–Speedy Deli, 32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: deckard
Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: No, not her
Suit #1: Hey, did we ever find out how Chris Penn died?
Suit #2: Yeah. He died of being a big, fat fuck.
–50th between 6th & 7th
