Old white guy: Hey man, how are you?
Black delivery guy: Pretty good, man, can't complain…
Old white guy: Why not?
–Henry & Montague
Overheard by: Priya Ahuja
Old white guy: Hey man, how are you?
Black delivery guy: Pretty good, man, can't complain…
Old white guy: Why not?
–Henry & Montague
Overheard by: Priya Ahuja
Hobo: What are you doing?
Pretty girl: Just thinking.
Hobo: You are way too pretty to think.
–42nd St
Overheard by: Meredith
Man: This is no good. It’s sour. I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: I put ice cream and milk.
Man: I don’t care what you put in it. Maybe it’s the milk, maybe it’s the ice cream. You taste it, or bring out a manager to taste it, either way I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: You come tomorrow. Speak with manager. Change with him.
Man: So what am I supposed to do? Stick this in my ass until tomorrow?
–Baskin-Robbins, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Jenn Milazzo
Girl #1: So, yes, that should be our goal this weekend.
Girl #2: Agreed.
Girl #1: We’ll get as many drugs as we can find.
Girl #3: And do them as quickly as we can.
Girl #2: Niiice.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: V
Bag check guy: I want your bag.
Comic book chick: Pardon?
Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag.
Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this.
Bag check guy: What did you think, that I’m just some crazy black man sitting up here harassing people?
Comic book chick: Could be.
Bag check guy: That’s true.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Muslim, so don’t piss them off. Muslims don’t care if they die because then they’ll get 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: It’s not 72 virgins, it’s 45 virgins.
Muslim #2: I thought it was 40 virgins.
White guy: But a Muslim person told me that it was 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 virgins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 virgins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do.
–MetroTech, Lawrence St
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Hipster girl #1: It’s moderately inappropriate to have sex in the living room when other people are there.
Hipster girl #2: Well, are you loud?
–Sarita’s Macaroni & Cheese, 12th St & 1st Ave
Girl #1: My husband had such a hair across his ass last night. He was getting on my last nerve.
Girl #2: “Hair across his ass”? What do you mean?
Girl #1: You’ve never heard that phrase before? “Hair across his ass”?
Girl #2: No, I haven’t. I don’t get it.
Girl #1: Well Jen, tell me, would you be happy if you had a hair going across your ass?
–Gray’s Papaya, 8th Avenue
Coffee guy: Good morning, sir.
Sir: Medium coffee.
Coffee guy: Milk and sugar, sir?
Sir: Yes, please.
Coffee guy: …you go down, sir?
Sir: Excuse me?
Coffee guy: You go down? Down the town?
–Roach coach, Franklin & Church
Overheard by: Bailey Wier
New York girl: Wait, who are the Bengals?
Cincinnati girl: Our football team
New York girl: Wow, that sucks, to be named after a kind of bracelet.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: leilah
