Girl #1: That’s pretty much illegal or something.
Girl #2: They’re not really related, and she told her dad and he’s cool with it.
Girl #1: Oooh, do you wanna get some ice cream?
–M96 bus
Girl #1: That’s pretty much illegal or something.
Girl #2: They’re not really related, and she told her dad and he’s cool with it.
Girl #1: Oooh, do you wanna get some ice cream?
–M96 bus
Filthy rich mom #1: I don’t know what I’ll do this summer. I mean, my nanny has a life.
Filthy rich mom #2: Ugh, I know. That’s exactly the trouble.
–Collegiate School, W 78th St
Midwestern child: Daddy, what’s that candle thing?
Midwestern father: It’s called a menorah. They use it on Jewish Christmas.
—Spamalot, Shubert Theatre, W 44th St
Suit #1: Dude, admit it: you want to go to Dorian’s.
Suit #2: No, I don’t.
Suit #1: Yes, you do. Admit it.
Suit #2: Dude, no! I want to talk to chicks, not rape them.
–Tortilla Flats, Washington Street
Overheard by: Initials
Teen guy #1: So, what did she look like?
Teen guy #2: Oh, dude, she had the most perfect body. She was like, 26-34-26!
–Tonic Bar
Four-year-old #1: Ice cream makes your head fall off.
Four-year-old #2: No, it doesn’t.
Four-year-old #1: It was just an expression, asshole.
Four-year-old #2, to his dog: Don’t let him pet you.
–Central Park
Overheard by: amused tourist
Guy: Well, William can be Bill, Robert can be Bob, and John can be Jack.
Girl: John can be Jack?
Guy: Yeah, you know, like sometimes John Kennedy was called Jack Kennedy.
Girl: Then why did they call him Robert?
–Diner, 22nd & 3rd
Guy #1: Do you think you could ever date her?
Guy #2: I don’t know.
Guy #1: Why not?
Guy #2: I can’t picture myself having sex with her.
–Tower Records, 66th & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Flyers girl: Hi, would you like to come to a party?
Guy: No, thanks.
Flyers girl: Why do people keep lying to me?
Guy: I’m not a person.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Will Person
Dude: What happened?
Soaked chick: I dunno. There was like a ‘Grrr’ and then a like ‘Woosh’ and then like a ‘Splat’ and then I was like, ‘What the fuck…’
Dude: Oh. That explains it.
–50th & Lex
