Old Russian man approaches teen girl and says something in Russian.
Teen girl: What?
Russian man: You don’t speak Russian?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man: Oh, well you want job?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man walks away.
Girl’s mom: I think he wanted to hire you for an escort service.
–Sheepshead Bay train station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Waiting for the bus
Sullen tourist teen: We’re in New York City and we’re going to fucking Uno’s for dinner?
Tourist mom: Please watch your language. Your father wants to go to Uno’s.
Sullen tourist teen: But we’re in New York. Why are we going somewhere we can go at home?
Tourist dad, adamantly: Because New York restaurants have rats. We’re not going to a New York restaurant!
–Museum of Natural History steps
Teen girl #1: So, how are things with Dan?
Teen girl #2: Pretty good. We video chatted for like an hour and a half last night.
Teen girl #1: That's awesome!
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know. I wasn't wearing clothes but like I can't remember the last time I wore a shirt in a video chat.
Teen girl #1: Umm…
–KIKU, Park Slope
Gothic underage-looking stripper: Oh my god we have been looking everywhere for stripper shoes!
More underage-looking gothic stripper: Maybe this is God’s way of telling us not to be strippers.
–Macdougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Zubin
Teen: That guy is jerkin’ it right there in public!
Mother: Look away. He just has a disease.
Teen: What? So chronic masturbation is a disease now?
–42nd St subway
Overheard by: come again?
Headline by: gerard
Runners-Up:
· “Cause Dad Said Its a Cure for Fat Wife Syndrome” – angelica cayne
· “Come Again?” – Mary Beth
· “Ironically, NOT Healed by Laying on Of Hands” – JohnnyB
· “Momma Don’t Know Jack.” – jason daniel
· “No. I Was Referring To The Pus Pockets On The Head Of His Penis.” – Redneck Jedi
· “There’s Even a 12 Stroke Program” – Grantakerous
· “We’re Tivoing _That_ Telethon!” – Vera Vaughan Hough
Drunk Hispanic teen: How do I get to Times Square?
Older white lady: I am not sure… Maybe two stops. [Teen whispers to her.] Good Lord, no! I am old enough to be your mother!
–F train, 57th St
Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.
Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.
Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ’em all scamper away!
–2 train
Teen girl #1: I don’t care, I’ll talk booty all night for $50. Works for me.
–Keyspan Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Teen #1 (after looking up at advert for Sex and the City): Dude, Sarah Jessica Parker is like, so freakin hot!
Teen #2: She's older than your fucking mother!
Teen #1: Which like, so totally backs up my point.
–7th St
Overheard by: Joel Moore
Teen tourist: How much for the sunglasses?
Vendor: Thirty dollars.
Teen tourist: In Chinatown?!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Ozzy
