Teen #1, disappointed: Yo, she took me to the museum yesterday.
Teen #2: Whoa! This guy goes to museums! Which one?
Teen #1: Not the art one, the other one.
Teen #2: (puzzled silence)
Teen #1: There was like mad prehistoric animals and a big-ass whale and shit.
Teen #2: Oh…the zoo!
–6 Train
Girl: I wanted to do something like Jenny On The Block. You know: Jennifer Lopez. My character is really hot, but she looks a little psycho.
–13th St. & 3rd Ave.
Teenage girl: Bitch! I did not give you syphilis. I gave you crabs.
–13th St. & 2nd Ave.
Overheard by: Chris Carter
Asian boy: If I could name you anything, it would be “titty”.
–F train
Overheard by: Nathalie
Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: J. Ann
Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka.
–106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Shmoop
Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you.
–17th & 5th
Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes.
–Elevator, 120 Wall St
Overheard by: Aubrie
Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8.
–1 train
Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be.
–Washington & Charles
Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok.
–Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Teen girl #1: Having a disease must suck.
Teen girl #2: Yeah. If I had AIDS, I would die.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Snoopy
(teen comes onto train and does the whole spiel about selling M&Ms for his school, walks up and down the car, no one buys anything)
Teen: I'm also selling weed.
Guy: Really?
Teen: No. But I should go back to dealing, this shit doesn't pay.
–A Train
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Teen #1 looking up at a tree with wonder: My god… I am so high.
Teen #2: We only smoked like five joints today.
Suit passerby: It’s still morning, guys.
–Central Park
Teen girl on gell: Can you believe he did that to me? Between you and me….
Annoyed passenger: …and the rest of the train.
–5 train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Old Russian man approaches teen girl and says something in Russian.
Teen girl: What?
Russian man: You don’t speak Russian?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man: Oh, well you want job?
Teen girl: No.
Russian man walks away.
Girl’s mom: I think he wanted to hire you for an escort service.
–Sheepshead Bay train station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Waiting for the bus
Sullen tourist teen: We’re in New York City and we’re going to fucking Uno’s for dinner?
Tourist mom: Please watch your language. Your father wants to go to Uno’s.
Sullen tourist teen: But we’re in New York. Why are we going somewhere we can go at home?
Tourist dad, adamantly: Because New York restaurants have rats. We’re not going to a New York restaurant!
–Museum of Natural History steps
Teen girl #1: So, how are things with Dan?
Teen girl #2: Pretty good. We video chatted for like an hour and a half last night.
Teen girl #1: That's awesome!
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know. I wasn't wearing clothes but like I can't remember the last time I wore a shirt in a video chat.
Teen girl #1: Umm…
–KIKU, Park Slope
