Girl #1: I am so wasted. I got molested by some Mexican at this sleepover party thing.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, I woke up and everyone was fighting cause he touched my boobs. I think there’s some law saying that you can’t molest someone while they’re sleeping.
Girl #2: Actually, I think there’s a law saying you can’t molest someone, period.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: if walls had ears
Teenage Guido in Guidomobile, to friend: Hey, it looks like a sports car… But it's a Beetle!
Gay guy in bright blue Beetle: Well, your car probably goes faster, but this is a lot of fun to drive.
(pause while gears grind teenage Guido's brain)
Teenage Guido: Is that your girlfriend's car?
–4th Ave & Pacific St
Mook #1: We should get some eight balls.
Mook #2: Ape balls? Like gorilla balls?
–Mulberry & Spring
Chick on cell: It's all about the eyeball lick. Tell her.
–59th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: aenigma
NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.
–Forsyth St & E Houston St
Overheard by: Dave-o
Teen girl to friends: He's so gross! Seriously, I'd rather lick my cat's asshole than hook up with that guy!
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Guy at bar to friend: I can't believe you married a woman who won't lick your asshole.
–Ale House, MacDougal St
Random woman: Why do you always insist on licking my elbow?
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jana
Teen #1: Are we there yet?
Teen #2: It's right over there.
Teen #3 (screaming): I see it! I see Atlas! It's white, I see it.
Bus driver: Yeah, and I see dead people across the street…you don't hear me screaming.
–Q29 Bus, Atlas Park Mall
[Thuggish teen prances in front of taxi.]Cabbie: Are you really that poor that you need to walk and get hit by my cab for money?!
Thuggish teen, walking to taxi window: Thats what I do! Mmmhmmm [Eats ice cream slowly at car window.]
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Melissa Anne
Teenager #1: Oh my god, she is like way too skinny.
Teenager #2: Yeah.
Teenager #1: I mean, don't get me wrong, I love way too skinny, it just doesn't look good on her.
Teenager #2: Totally.
–Atlantic Avenue Station
Overheard by: Nina
Punk teen #1: So, was he molested?
Punk teen #2: No.
Punk teen #1: Oh, thats boring.
–LIRR
Kid #1, looking at the Mona Lisa on Da Vinci Code poster: Hey, look! It’s her again!
Kid #2: Who is this lady? She’s everywhere!
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: d.grace
Teenybopper #1: I really want some gum.
Teenybopper #2: Oh, here I have some. I bought this last night because I had some beers before babysitting, and I didn't wanna show up smelling like booze.
–Downtown 2 Train
