Dad to four-year-old son: Hey, don't touch that! Don't pick up things off the ground here. I just saw a mouse.
Four-year-old son: You saw a mouse! You are so lucky! I always wanted to see one of those!
Dad, sighing: You don't want to see them, they are dirty.
Son: You're so lucky. Wow! A mouse.
–8th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Must not be from the village
Guy on cell: That's the good thing about abortions–you can have like three a day.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Ghetto dude: I told her, I was like "if you get pregnant you best get an abortion, cause I ain't helping you with that shit." I mean, I would help her, but I gotta get that shit in her head.
–N Train
Overheard by: Jill
30-something woman to boyfriend: There be some muthafuckas up in here who think this shit some form of birth control. I'm woman enough; I gave birth to six kids. I ain't doin' it again.
–Abortion Clinic, Queens
Crazy guy on subway, preaching: You know why there's 100 million Mexicans in America? Abortion!
–W Train
Man: Do you wanna ride in the sidecar of my motorbike? My son does that all the time. We go really fast!
Teen girl: Yeah, sure, I’d love to go in your pre-war sidecar. With a bit of luck, all my friends will see me with some crazy bald man and that will be the end of my life. No, thanks!
–The Village
(drunk group of 20-somethings stumble out of a bar onto the street)
Unstable random lady: Alcoholic! You need to go to Alcoholics Anonymous!
Drunk guy: Dude, just mind your own business.
Unstable random lady: Don't call me dude! I'll call the cops on you!
–W 3rd & Thompson
Girl: Wait, what? You have Gandhi on your phone?
–23rd Street F/V station
Overheard by: emma jackson
Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.
–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn
Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!
–Staten Island Ferry
Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!
–Chambers & West St
Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.
–25th St & 7th Ave
Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Middle East man, exiting his vendor cart: But I miss you!
Retreating American woman: You have, like, five wives and three girlfriends.
Middle East man: No! I do not!
–13th & 5th
Overheard by: Colleen
Enraged hipster: Clearly, I am not a child!
Hipster friends: (silence)
Enraged hipster: I do my own grocery shopping!
–10th St & University Place
Overheard by: PotatoPuff
Junior high kid: Nice bike, fag!
Guy on moped: Nice prepubescent penis, kid!
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Matthew
Guy #1: Your car is totally Jewish.
Guy #2: My car is not Jewish. My car is a Jew hater.
–10th & Hudson
