Tourist #1: Manhattan!
Tourist #2: Manhattan!
Tourist #1: Manhattan!!
Tourist #2: Manhattan!!!
Tourist #1: Manhattan!!!!
Random New Yorker: Manhattan!!!!!!!!
–38th & 5th
Overheard by: where brooklyn at?
Tourist #1: Manhattan!
Tourist #2: Manhattan!
Tourist #1: Manhattan!!
Tourist #2: Manhattan!!!
Tourist #1: Manhattan!!!!
Random New Yorker: Manhattan!!!!!!!!
–38th & 5th
Overheard by: where brooklyn at?
Tourist #1, taking photos: Oooh, is that the New York skyline?
Tourist #2: No, I think that's New Jersey.
Tourist #1, stopping: Oh. Eww!
–Circle Line Tour
Midwestern lady #1: See those trees over there?
Midwestern lady #2: Oh yes!
Midwestern lady #1: Do you think that's Central Park?
Midwestern lady #2 (getting excited): Oh, yes I do! It looks just like the pictures in the guidebook!
(Midwestern ladies proceed to get out their cameras and take pictures)
–Runway, LaGuardia Airport
Man, shouting to a tour bus: Hey, you guys like New York!
Tourists, all in unison: Yeah!
Man: Well, go fuck yourself!
–Bryant Park
Woman: We're going downtown, but north towards the city.
Tourist mother (gawking): What are you talking about?
Tourist little boy (tugging on her pants): Mommy, Brooklyn is upside down!
–F Train
Guard: Sir, no visitors allowed.
American tourist: Why not?
Guard: Only employees are allowed in, sir.
American tourist: But what if I wanted to do business in there?
Guard: In the stock exchange? Like…what?
American tourist: Like, what if I wanted to buy stocks?
–Entrance of NYSE, Wall St
Son, coming out of The Plaza hotel: How come we didn't stay here?
Father: Because that would have been our whole vacation.
–The Plaza Hotel, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rachel
Tourist looking at a subway map, drawing a line with his finger: Where does this train go?
New Yorker : Exactly where you just pointed.
–B Train
Tourist trying to get through the turnstile with a credit card: Didn't this work last time?
Tourist friend: Try my Visa, maybe yours is expired.
–Bryant Park Station
Overheard by: casey
Guy on cell: I'm walking to my room from breakfast. Then I'm going to take a dump. Then I'm going downstairs.
–Hallway, Marriott Courtyard Hotel
Barista walking in, to no one in particular: Unfortunately, I'm here.
–Starbucks, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Robert
Lost tourist: We are stuck here in the middle of Times Square!
–Rockefeller Center
NYU girl on phone: Hello? No. No, I can't meet you. Because I'm lost. I'm lost in the West Village. You know how the streets there get weird? I have no idea where I am. I've been wandering around for hours and I don't know if I'll ever make it back, ever! No, don't try to find me, I haven't seen any street signs in ages. Okay, see you tomorrow…maybe not.
–Union Square
Loud black drag queen yelling into cell: Bitch, don't play with me! I know where you at!
(pause) Where you at?
–34th St & 8th Ave
