Daughter: Is that our bus?
Mother: No, that's a tourist bus, we're waiting for the city bus.
Daughter: Hey! Is that the Empire State Building? It's really tall!
Mother: It's not that tall.
Daughter: I never saw it before.
Mother: You never looked up.
–34th St & 7th Ave
Confused American: I used to think Atlantic City was in Atlantic State.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: MBS
Drunk guy: I don't understand why people are giving Sarah Palin so much grief over that Russia thing. It really *is* pretty close to Alaska.
–W 66th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Anti-McCain dude to another: Man, Sarah Palin is crazy. Yo, she's just crazy. Why did John McCain even pick her? She's not even an American citizen, she's Alaskan!
–The Bronx
Nervous white lady: Um, is the Broadway/Lafayette stop coming up soon?
–Uptown 1 Train
UPS guy to lost tourists: I'm not a GPS! I'm the UPS!
–Prince & Lafayette
Overheard by: dee
Businessman behind group of tourists: These slow-moving tourists are fuckin' killing me.
Tourist: We'd better not catch your fast-moving New York ass in Beaumont, Texas!
–37th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: DodgersWill
Tourist woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where the garden is?
Bored looking suit: Ma'am, this is a stadium.
Tourist woman: You asswipe, I can see that, I'm asking where the garden is!
Bored looking suit: Lady… Look, I'm not going to lie to you. It's two blocks down.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Joel Moore
Creepy local guy to tourist couple: Where are you guys from, are you from Boston?
Tourist man: No, we are from France.
Local guy: Oh, you're from France. I knew you were too good looking to be from Boston.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Nathan
Local friend: So how you finding New York?
Tourist friend: It's okay, I guess… Just can't really see it without the monsters, you know? Like in the movies?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Joel Moore
Train conductor: East Broadway, welcome to Manhattan. Especially you, tourists, you put my wife on the table–I mean, uh…my food.
–F Train
Overheard by: penelope
Petite 30-something washing clothes: Oh, no! His wife's gonna be there. I gotta get some razor blades.
–Laundry Mat, Broadway & Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Matt
Middle aged suit to another: So the main problem my girlfriend and I have is that I really get along with my wife.
–A Train
Overheard by: Suzi
Thug to friend: There's just one thing I want people to say about my wife. Not that she's pretty, or that she's nice. I want them to say, "man, that nigga's wife's got a fat ass!"
–Grand Concourse
Cop to crowd: I suggest you use the other crosswalk, it's less congested. Stay here, risk your life…over there, save your wife!
–Radio City Music Hall
Man on cell: You don't love your wife?! (pause) Fuck you!
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Amina
Stoned girl to tourists filming and photographing ads outside M&M store: It's an advertisement, people!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Alice
Hot woman in suit to unsuspecting family buying a knock-off purse: Don't buy that shit, you stupid fucking tourists!
–44th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: would never buy that shit
NYC punk to tourist bus: Hey, tourists! Welcome to New York! {short pause} Fuck you!
–8th & Broadway
Young thug to friend: Man, if I told you once, then I be telling you a million times. You from New York, fool. In New York, you don't be going giving no tourists directions! If they say, "where's the Empire State Building at?" you spit on them and walk the other way! Now don't you go make me be telling you again! I've had enough of you and yo' foolish ways. (couple wearing "I (heart) New York" t-shirts inch away nervously)
–Union Square
Overheard by: Glad I had a map
Suit with southern accent: Nah! That library has too many tourists.
–51 & Lexington
Overheard by: Miriam
Eleven-year-old tourist: I heard that there was a church here in New York that worships Satan.
Tourist father: Well, that doesn't make sense, because you cannot worship Satan, you can only worship Jesus.
–9th Ave & 47th St
Tourist #1: Manhattan!
Tourist #2: Manhattan!
Tourist #1: Manhattan!!
Tourist #2: Manhattan!!!
Tourist #1: Manhattan!!!!
Random New Yorker: Manhattan!!!!!!!!
–38th & 5th
Overheard by: where brooklyn at?
