We'll Be Like, “That Was Sad. What's for Dinner?”

Midwestern tourist dad: Next we're going to the Empire State Building.
Six-year-old daughter: How far is it? Do we have to walk?
Midwestern tourist dad: Yes, it'll be fun.
Six-year-old daughter (in super whiny voice): Why? It's too far, I don't wanna walk!
Midwestern tourist dad: It'll be fun, we'll see the sights along the way.
Six-year-old daughter (on the verge of a tantrum): But I don't wanna!
Midwestern tourist dad (in very calm and soothing voice): Well, you can walk with us, or you can just lay down and die.

–5th Ave & 38th St

Posted on October 24, 2008
Comebacks, Dads, Death, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Midwesterners, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Tourism, Wishes & desires

The Highest-Rated GMA Broadcast Ever

Tourist man: Yeah, this is ABC studios. They film Good Morning America here.
Tourist woman: Really? (cups her eyes and peers into the studios through the glass)
Rest of family: Wow! That's amazing! (they start taking photos of the empty studio)

–Outside ABC Studios

Overheard by: Amazing!

Headline by: Aidan

Runners-Up:
· “…And If You’ll Look Across the Street, You’ll Notice a Lovely, Blue Honda Civic” – Prashant
· “And Yet…the Content Of the Show Was No Different” – jason
· “I Love Morning!” – Sandy Paws
· “If You Listen Hard Enough You Can Hear Al Roker Laughing at His Own Jokes.” – Nicole
· “Tour Groups For The Blind Really Can Be Quite Cruel.” – alex

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on October 23, 2008
Families, Headline Contest Winners, Tourism, Tourists, TV, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Not to Be Confused with the Naked Chinese Guy

Tourist: Huh, I could have sworn he'd be here!
Cop, looking around: Can I help you, miss?
Tourist: Yeah, I'm looking for a guy.
Cop: Okay?
Tourist: Should be wearing tighty whities…cowboy hat.
(cop sighs, pointing to his left)
Tourist: Thanks!

–Times Square

Posted on October 7, 2008
Clothing, Cops, Default, Offers and requests, Questions, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists

Where in the World Are Wednesday One-Liners?

College girl: So, I'm thinking of going to France and/or, like, Europe.

–Penn Station

Confused tourist with map: Where's Chicago? Oh, right…that's here in New York City, right?

–Times Square

Guy with map in Tribeca (pointing ahead to the south): Okay, so Central Park should be this way…

–Tribeca

Wide-eyed tourist: Oh my god, we're in Central Park! Can you believe it?

–Riverside Park

30-something zoo patron to zoo employee: I thought Madagascar was just the name of a character in that movie.

–Madagascar Exhibit, Bronx Zoo

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Global Geography, Guys, Idiots, Movies, NYC Geography, Penn Station, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, The Bronx, Times Square, Tourism, Tourist Attractions, Tourists, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Is the Word “Like” a Free Pass on Bad Math? Discuss

Tourist #1: I've been in about 40 states so far.
Tourist #2: Wow, that's like half of them!

–Central Park

Overheard by: 1f

Posted on September 19, 2008
Central Park, Default, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, U.S. Geography

Trafalgar Square?

Tourist #1: Oh, I think this is that famous intersection.
Tourist #2: Is it?
Tourist #1: Yeah, this is it.

–Times Square

Posted on September 15, 2008
Default, NYC Geography, Questions, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Words

Wednesday One-Liners, Eh?

Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.

–Metro-North Train

Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!

–Avenue of the Americas

Overheard by: Mike

20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!

–Times Square

Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor

Posted on September 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Canadians, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Global Geography, Grand Central, Guys, Men, On Cell, Preppies, Public Transportation, Race, Stupidity, The Village, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Wishes & desires

Your Real Parents Are Never Coming for You, Kid

(family stands facing the empire state building)
Tourist son: Mom, which one is the Empire State Building?
Tourist mom: I think it's the one with the circley top. (points to the Chrysler Building)
Tourist dad: No, honey, it's the one way out there, on the water.
Tourist son #2: That's the Statue of Liberty. (to no one in paritcular) I can't believe I'm part of this fucking family.

–Top of the Rock

Overheard by: Melissa

Posted on August 30, 2008
Boys, Dads, Default, Families, Family Ties, Kids, Moms, Questions, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourist Attractions, Tourists

The NYC Thought Police Arrested Her on an Anonymous Tip

Woman: Yeah, we just returned from a trip to Pennsylvania, and we were happily surprised to find that the people were normal.
Man: Normal like New Yorkers ?
Woman: Yeah, they didn't seem like they were from Harrisburg at all.

–Forest Ave & Bleecker St, Queens

Posted on August 28, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Compare/Contrast, Default, Men, Queens, Tourism, Travel, U.S. Geography, Women

There Is No Taco Bell at Penn Station, Douche.

Guy to friend (as a security guard makes people stand up): See? You really can't sit on the steps of The Met anymore.
Friend: Is it because of the tourists? God, I hate the tourists. I saw tourists taking pictures of a Taco Bell at Penn Station today. Those fuckers.

–Steps of The Met

Overheard by: April

Posted on August 25, 2008
Default, Friends, Guys, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Pictures, The Met, Tourism, Upper East Side

Tourism