40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high!
–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel
Pharmacist, coming out from behind counter: So how can I help you?
British tourish: Well, I have a headache and a bit of a sore throat and [pulls out piece of paper, shows to pharmacist] I am not sure, but I think this is illegal in the United States.
–Duane Reade, 47th & Lexington
Overheard by: EthanK
Obnoxious female tourist: Help, I'm lost!
Cop: No you're not! You're on the f train!
–F Train
Lady taking picture of tourists: Do you want the Statue of Liberty in the background?
Hubby: Uh, that’s the Empire State Building.
–Top of the Rock
Guy in fur coat handing out fur sale brochures: Sale! Sale!
Tourist girl with lollipop: Animal killer!
Guy in fur coat: You’re killing that lollipop!
–7th Ave & 25th St
Overheard by: furry
Manic tourist lady #1: Oh wow, the front of the train. I’ve never been in FRONT before. Look! Haha! No driver!
Manic tourist lady #2: No driver? Seriously? Excuse me, sir? Who’s driving this subway?
Local looks up from paper and looks around frantically.
Manic tourist #2: Wait, seriously? Oh my God, should we get off?
Manic tourist #1: Oh, calm down. He’s just joking. We can’t get off ’til Union Square.
Local: Ma’am, I swear to God that I’m not joking. Nobody’s driving this train. I’m just as terrified as you are.
Manic tourist #2: Oh, whatever. He’s one of those New York assholes we heard about. Ignore him.
–4 train, 59th St
Overheard by: got off too
Tourist woman looking at Radio City Music Hall: That’s where the Rockets are.
20-ish son: Who are the ‘Rockets’?
–50th & 6th
Man: Hey, are you guys from Germany?
Tourists: Ja?
Man: I’ll tell you one good thing about Germany — the beer, the food, and the women.
Tourist: Ja.
–N train
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Subway announcement: Service changes will affect the “d” as in “Darby” line and “v” as in “victim” line.
Tourist mom to family: Honey, I don't think it's safe to take the subway, let's get out.
–Prince Street Subway Stop
American man: So you’re a tourist from Great Britain?
British man: Yes, I am.
American man: Where did you learn to speak English?
British man: We spawned the language, you know.
American man: No. . . that was the English.
–Statue of Liberty crown
