We’re From Gifu, You Ignorant Round-Eye

Guy to Chinese tourists: We call them cops. Citizens on Patrol, that’s one theory. You know London? In the U.K.? Over there they call them bobbies. In New York, cops. In London, bobbies.
British woman: In London they’re called coppers.
Guy: What?
British woman: In London they call them coppers. That’s where the word “cop” comes from.
Guy: She would know, because she’s from there. So in New York, cops. In London, coppers. Not to be confused with “cooper,” which is someone who plays with copper. So is this a lot like Shanghai?

–E train

Overheard by: kyetlen

Posted on March 9, 2022
Cops, On the Subway, Tourists

Ah, Screw It, I’ll Do It.

Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew-stin. How do we get to–
Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew-stin.’ You better say it right, or someone else who’s not as nice as me will beat you up.

–Houston & Broadway

Posted on February 26, 2022
Advice, Nice People, The Village, Tourists, Words

Just Like Les Mis!

40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How's it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It's hilarious when you're high!

–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel

Posted on February 15, 2022
Drinking & Drunk People, Druggies, Drugs, Elevators, Film, Food, Hotels, Preppies, Questions, Strangers, Tourists

This Is a Drawing of a Teapot, Ma’am

Pharmacist, coming out from behind counter: So how can I help you?
British tourish: Well, I have a headache and a bit of a sore throat and [pulls out piece of paper, shows to pharmacist] I am not sure, but I think this is illegal in the United States.

–Duane Reade, 47th & Lexington

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on February 13, 2022
9 to 5-ers, Brits, Crime and Punishment, Customers, Default, Duane Reade, Illness, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Questions, Tourists, Wishes & desires

But We're Headed to Queens!!

Obnoxious female tourist: Help, I'm lost!
Cop: No you're not! You're on the f train!

–F Train

Posted on February 6, 2022
Cops, On the Subway, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Tourists

Ever Heard of Photoshop?

Lady taking picture of tourists: Do you want the Statue of Liberty in the background?
Hubby: Uh, that’s the Empire State Building.

–Top of the Rock

Posted on February 4, 2022
Stupidity, Tourist Attractions, Tourists

And You Better Be Wearing Plastic Shoes, Bitch

Guy in fur coat handing out fur sale brochures: Sale! Sale!
Tourist girl with lollipop: Animal killer!
Guy in fur coat: You’re killing that lollipop!

–7th Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: furry

Posted on December 18, 2021
Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Comebacks, Flyer people, Food, Girls, Insults, Murder, Politics, Tourists

But He’s a Major Tourist Attraction

Manic tourist lady #1: Oh wow, the front of the train. I’ve never been in FRONT before. Look! Haha! No driver!
Manic tourist lady #2: No driver? Seriously? Excuse me, sir? Who’s driving this subway?

Local looks up from paper and looks around frantically.

Manic tourist #2: Wait, seriously? Oh my God, should we get off?
Manic tourist #1: Oh, calm down. He’s just joking. We can’t get off ’til Union Square.
Local: Ma’am, I swear to God that I’m not joking. Nobody’s driving this train. I’m just as terrified as you are.
Manic tourist #2: Oh, whatever. He’s one of those New York assholes we heard about. Ignore him.

–4 train, 59th St

Overheard by: got off too