Female relative #1 to female relative #2: The problem with this family is that nobody communicates…Don’t tell anybody I said that!
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: ekercado
Female relative #1 to female relative #2: The problem with this family is that nobody communicates…Don’t tell anybody I said that!
–LIRR, Penn Station
Overheard by: ekercado
Chulo #1: What sign are you?
Chula: Aries. You?
Chulo #2: Asshole. That's his sign: asshole.
Chulo #1: Naw, man. It's cancer.
Chulo #2: Why do so many people believe in that astrology shit?
Chulo #1: Because it's true!
Chula: It's so true. I've got all the personality traits. Like, I think I know everything. I get along real well with Leos, we're all bossy together. What sign are you?
Chulo #2: Scorpio.
(chula and chulo #1 laugh knowingly)
Chula: Oh, yeah, you know what that means. You're a lover.
Chulo #2: Ha ha, yeah?
Chula: You see someone and like that, you're in love. And then, two weeks later, you don't want nothing to do with her.
Chulo #2: Um… No… I mean, not really…
Chulo #1: Yeah, man, it's all true. Written in the stars.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Little boy: Hey mister, wanna hear a funny joke?
Old man: No.
Little boy: Okay, here it goes…A man walks into a bar…”Ouch!” Ha, ha, ha! Get it?
Old man: That’s the weakest shit I’ve ever heard.
–A train
Man with beard to friend: You should stick with her. I mean, she's giving you her kidney!
–77th & Columbus
Teen hipster, commenting on girl's nose: It's not too nosy, but you know it's a nose.
–Starbucks, 71st & Broadway
Overheard by: Maddie
Girl: She just really needs that second body, you know?
–W 16th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emily B.
Guy yelling to friend: So I said "My rectum? My rectum!?"
–Broadway & John St
Guy on phone: No, bitch, you rub my belly!
–Houston St
Conductor over intercom, after train stops: Folks, I apologize for the delay, the conductor had to make a pit stop…when you get old, your kidneys start to fail.
–Metro North Train
Overheard by: Kristin
Fratboy: So my mom asks me the other day, “Do you plan on working 5 days a week, then going on 2 day benders for the rest of your life?”. I was like, “yeah”. What should I be doing, staying home and watching television with her?
–LIRR
Clueless girl: Wait, is Rent about AIDS?
Slightly less clueless girl: Yeah.
Clueless girl: Oh, shit! Now I get it!
–LIRR Train
Overheard by: c
Woman to boyfriend: You're so right, that man's a liar and a thief! How fucking dare he!
Boyfriend: How dare he, indeed! Now lemme tell ya: if he do it again, shit, I don't even fuckin' care! I'll cut his fuckin' kidneys out! In full view of da NYPD–I don't give a shit. In fact, I want them to see me and convict me!
–L Train
Overheard by: Stephen
Girl #1: Where should we go, posh?
Girl #2: Posh? When did we go to posh again?
Girl #1: That was the night we left those Irish kids on the park bench.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Daniel
20-something man #1: So you got a rap job?
20-something man #2: Yeah. My girl loves it.
20-something man #1: Really?
20-something man #2: Yeah, she thinks I'm, like, intellectual. It's like, it's not rap to her. It's like…words, ya know?
20-something man #1: I hear ya, man…
–LIRR
Conductor to a group of passengers: You should flip the seats back, this is going to be a crowded train.
Passenger #1: Well, what if we lied down and pretended to be corpses or something? People wouldn’t take our seats then.
Conductor: No, people would just come and sit on you.
Passenger #2: But what if we were just like “We’re not dead yet!”?
Conductor: Well, they’d still sit on you, so you probably would be dead soon.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: alison
