Chick: People donate body parts?
Older woman: Yes, when people die they can donate their body so that other people can benefit from it.
Chick: So, like, I could get a new arm or something?
–LIRR
Overheard by: ladolce
Chick: People donate body parts?
Older woman: Yes, when people die they can donate their body so that other people can benefit from it.
Chick: So, like, I could get a new arm or something?
–LIRR
Overheard by: ladolce
AIG employee: Hey, did you see they took down the AIG building sign?
Friend: Why, because people were throwing eggs at it?
AIG employee: No, they are considering a rebrand of the name. AIU: American International Underwriters.
Friend: They should rename it “IOU.”
–Metro-North Train
Young thug to friends: Stop, stop, stop! Stop, seriously, stop. C'mon, I'm not kidding! Seriously. I have shoe phobia!
–Metro-North Rail
Guy with shoe in hand, catching up to woman who lost it: Here you go, Cinderella!
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: thorn
Manager of ladies' shoe store: It's easy to close. You put the hooker boots–all this hoochie stuff, with the hooker boots, you put the flats with the flats, you put the day shoes with the day shoes. Now, Narnia over there is another story…
–Macy's
Overheard by: Sarah R
Chick to guy: If you buy me Jimmy Choos, I'll have your baby.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Lets hope she'll have the baby anyway…
Four-year-old girl stepping out of taxi: Mommy, can we go online to buy shoes today?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: …wow.
College-Bound kid: So I can come home every weekend in October, to work on the haunted house.
Mom: No. You can’t. You have to stay at school for the bonding. You don’t want to miss that first-few-weeks bonding that goes on.
College-Bound kid: I told Ray I’d help with the haunted house. I want to do make-up.
Mom: You can’t! College costs money! Your food costs money! It costs money to come home on the train!
College-Bound kid: Wait–the train costs money?
Mom: Both ways.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Been There
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being delayed by a stalled train directly behind us. We hope to be moving shortly. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, we are being delayed by a train directly behind us. Thank you for your patience.
–6 Train
Overheard by: little_pooh_1
Conductor: The bathrooms on this train are located four cars from the rear; count four cars as you move forward from the end of the train. Forward is the direction the train is traveling in.
–Metro-North Railroad
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the next and last stop on this train is Jamaica. If you want to go somewhere, we're probably not going there… unless it's Jamaica, but that's highly unlikely. Jamaica, next and last stop!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Christian
Train conductor: This is Times Square, 42nd Street. Transfer is available to any train you could possibly imagine.
–Uptown Q Train
Train conductor, stalling train: Luis Garcia, could you please step off the train? The cops is lookin' for you… We will not move the train til Luis Garcia steps off the train. Luis?
–2 Train
Hipster boy: That’s why they call this the windy city?
Hipster girl: This isn’t the windy city — that’s Seattle!
–PATH train, E 9th St
Overheard by: POOP!
Conductor: Vomiting is prohibited on this train. Please, no vomiting on this train.
–LIRR
Conductor: There are only three reasons for an empty train car. A) it smells. B) it's hot. C) someone threw up.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Laura
Gay NYU student: I've already been through the cycle. Eat, vom, feel better about life.
–Tisch Hall, NYU
Conductor: There will be no vomiting on this train. Repeat. There will be no vomiting on this train. (short pause) If you have to vomit, vomit on yourself.
–LIRR, Drunk Train
Overheard by: Jason
Girl to two guy friends: Last night I was traveling back on the train, and there was, like, an airsick bag in the thing and I got a craving for Gardetto's, because the last time we were traveling… (becomes inaudible)
–Atlantic & Bond, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Boyfriend to wasted girlfriend: Baby, I swear. This is the best place in New York to throw up. (girlfriend pukes)
–MacDougal St, The Village
Overheard by: Reid Rogers
Teen girl #1: Yeah, so John totally wants me to give him head even though I barely know him and we’ve never even hooked up.
Teen girl #2: That’s so weird.
Teen girl #1: I know! It’d be such a slutty thing to do. And I’ve never even given a blowjob before.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Teen girl #1: Then again, I feel like giving head is something I should do before I turn 16.
Teen girl #2: Good point.
Teen girl #1: So I’m totally going to do it.
Teen girl #2: Awesome, I can give you tips!
–Metro-North
Old man: I'm picking up a big-legged woman in Stamford.
Conductor: Oh, that's good.
Old man: Yeah, she's 300 pounds.
Conductor: Okay.
Old man: Yes. A very large woman is waiting for me in Stamford.
Conductor: Sounds like you're excited.
Old man: Yeah, and she has a rack, too!
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Reilly
Drunk guy #1: Yo, how funny was that when I told him, ‘Dude, just stick your balls in her mouth’? Remember that?
Drunk guy #2: Ewww, man, his balls are disgusting!
–LIRR
Overheard by: mrbojangles
