Girl: I'm allergic to mold, trees and grass. That's like… you know… nature!
Friend: Oh my god! And I take an eighth of a Benadryl and I am dead for a week.
Girl: Oh my god… Me too!
–Bathroom, Cafeteria at the Met
Girl: I'm allergic to mold, trees and grass. That's like… you know… nature!
Friend: Oh my god! And I take an eighth of a Benadryl and I am dead for a week.
Girl: Oh my god… Me too!
–Bathroom, Cafeteria at the Met
Girl #1: And then the interviewer asked me, “if you were on a deserted island with five handicapped people, what would you do to get off?” I was like “I don't know. We're screwed.”
Girl #2: Wow.
Girl #1: Seriously. We would be screwed. I would just sit under a palm tree and pray or make smoke signals or something.
Girl #2: Yeah, I don't know what I would do either.
Girl #1: Well at least she said my answer was funny. Then she told me about the time she asked that question to some girl. Her response was that she would take all the people who had Down syndrome and use them as a raft to float to safety.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: James
Dude #1: Yeah, you would know how to spot them.
Dude #2: Well, I did grow the shit in '01.
–53rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: BTRAIN
Hobo to couple: Right, right, so you take a donut, put it where it don't belong. Like in a tree. Now you got a tv. Take a cream cookie, wipe it on your mustache. Now you got a tv. I would put a chocolate cookie in the middle of a donut.
Woman: Oh my, where did you learn all this?
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy #1: He wouldn't stop telling me to eat the cactus, so I just broke down and did it.
Guy #2: Wow, what about the needles?
Guy #1: I put it in a blender first, dumbass.
Guy #2: Oh. So what happened?
Guy #1: I drank like three quarters of it and I threw up. A lot. Like “mother of god.”
Guy #2: Sheesh, then what?
Guy #1: I passed out for about 9 hours.
Guy #2: Awesome.
Guy #1: Yeah.
–G Train
Recycling activist: I myself used to be a plastic bottle!
–Outside BLT Burger, 6th Ave
Overheard by: sromeo
Student: Why the fuck are people still building greenhouses if we have the greenhouse effect?
–Columbia University
20-something to friend: I don't understand the sudden concern about global warming…I mean, it's what happened at the end of the Ice Age!
–LaGuardia Community College, Long Island
Overheard by: lulah
Greenpeace worker: Hey! Do you fucking care about the environment?
–Washington Square Park
Greenpeace guy, with puppy dog face: Are you sad about the trees?
–78th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: citysnidget
Guy to partner: Look! We can put lavender in our drawers!
Partner: I am not putting lavender in my drawers.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: marc v
Drunk girl at a party #1 (in a high-pitched “baby Jesus” voice): I want frankincense now! I want frankincense and myrrh right now! Why mama put me in the hay? I wanna bed! Why my momma can't have no house! I want frankincense!
Drunk girl at a party #2: The Catholic church is going to kick you in the face!
–Astoria
Midwestern lady #1: See those trees over there?
Midwestern lady #2: Oh yes!
Midwestern lady #1: Do you think that's Central Park?
Midwestern lady #2 (getting excited): Oh, yes I do! It looks just like the pictures in the guidebook!
(Midwestern ladies proceed to get out their cameras and take pictures)
–Runway, LaGuardia Airport
Ghetto girl: Hmm, I know what a peanut is, but what a walnut is?
–147th & Broadway
Man on cell: It's quite possible that my left nut is bigger than my right nut.
–82nd & Broadway
Girlfriend to boyfriend: So that's why Yoda sounds like busting a nut!
–Ave A & 6th St
Guy to friend: I've been bitten in the nuts by two different Scottish Terriers.
–7th Ave b/w 24th & 25th
Overheard by: Carmen
Guy on cell: I'm just like an anorexic. Every time they look in the mirror, they think "I'm not skinny enough," but I look in the mirror and think "these pants aren't tight enough," even though everyone tells me they can see my nuts.
–L Train
