Old man to young woman with iPod and earbuds in hand: You could probably hear the music better if you put those in your ears.
Young woman: Shove it up your ass.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: KatieL
Old man to young woman with iPod and earbuds in hand: You could probably hear the music better if you put those in your ears.
Young woman: Shove it up your ass.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: KatieL
Fat old lady: Do you happen to know who wrong the song “Who Let the Dogs Out”?
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street
Old woman: What do you want me to talk about? You don’t want to hear about my dog. You don’t want to hear about my cat. What else is there to talk about?
–N train
Overheard by: Nim G
Blueblood woman: Yesterday I was in here and got 2 tomatoes and left them here. Have they been found?
–Bleecker Street grocery
Guy: Dead girls? Come on. I’m afraid of real girls. Dead girls are even scarier.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Carrie
Guy: …he’s still living that zombie-turtle lifestyle…
–14th between University & 5th
Overheard by: Joe Strike
Lady on cell: …so we were at this goth club and I moonwalked into someone…
–72nd & Columbus
Woman: I wouldn’t fit in this even if I was cremated.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: kathy duby
Man: If it wasn’t for his suicide, Terry and I would never have met.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rick Segall
Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest!
–MoMA
Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society.
–NYU
Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box…
–Union Square
Overheard by: eliza
Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear!
–1st Ave
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool.
–6th & 10th
Overheard by: El
Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while.
–E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup
Overheard by: midtown_strangler
Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it.
–4 train
Overheard by: Hurtz donit
Guy to buddy: Dude, we are actually a lesbian couple.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sofa
Loud woman on cell: Did you know that Devahndra had a baby? Yeah, a girl. What happened to being a lesbian? Yeah, I guess that one went kinda short.
–Bx16 bus
Overheard by: Lillian
LI man: … And then the lesbians — they surrounded me.
–LIRR, Jamaica
Overheard by: wish they had been surrounding ME
Hipster: She thought she was a lesbian, but she was a midget.
–L train
Suit to female companion: Even lesbians have to eat!
–34th St
Overheard by: oh, is that why i’m so hungry?
Queer to friend: Tomorrow is flow day! That’s when you have to wear a pad and a tampon!
–W 3rd, between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: good golly
20-something girl: They didn’t have tampons, so I got Smirnoff Ice.
–Lincoln Place & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: That’s gotta hurt
Hot chick on cell: I’m off! Wish me and my menstrual cup luck!
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman: That would be a really awful super-power to have ?- the ability to make a woman menstruate whenever you fuck her.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Argopelter
Announcer dude: People, get the Audio Guide! If you don’t you’ll end up up there thinking, ‘I should have listened to that handsome, well-spoken man downstairs.’ You’ll be beating yourself for not buying the Audio Guide. And I don’t need that on my conscience.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: George Carstocea
Daily News hawker: Sign up here for your free subscription to the Daily News! [Muttering] We’ll screw you later.
–Outside Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Mrs. Met
Guy selling comedy show tickets: Come on, have a ticket. If you don’t I’ll stalk you on your MySpace page!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Punkgrrl
Top of the Rock promoter guy: Yeah, it’s supposed to be, like, the best view or whatever of, uh, I don’t know… [Calls to fellow promoter] Yo, man, you ever been up there?
–Rockefeller Center
Flyer dude: See the naked cowboy on stage! Sucking cock!
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ashley
Guy selling newspapers: New York Post here! Daily News here! [He’s ignored.] New York Post here! Daily News! [Still ignored.] George Bush wins the lottery! [Still ignored.]
–33rd & 7th
Comedy club promoter: People, you gotta come tonight, because if you don’t my boss is gonna kill me! I work for the mafia!
–Times Square
Agitated papi: I love him like a brother, but he a fuckin’ inconsiderate, ungrateful, selfish bastard! And he got a ugly baby!
–14th & University
Overheard by: Manhattman
Young Kid: New York is ugly!
–JFK
Overheard by: Latoya Siratana
Wise teen girl: That’s not giving up on him. That’s letting him fuck uglier girls.
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: walking the bridge
Giggling little girl in stroller: I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly! I’m ugly…!
–Downtown R train
Older woman to complete stranger: You should really stop eating that crap because it’s going to make you uglier than you already are!
–Fairway, W 73rd St
Overheard by: just trying to buy my groceries…
B&T guy: As I was saying, just ’cause you’re ugly, don’t mean you’re smart.
–Lower East Side
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?
–Starbucks, Sheridan Square
Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…
–Downtown 6 Train
Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!
–49th St, Astoria
Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!
–116th St
Chick: … So she had sex with both Rush Limbaugh and Bernie Kerik? Ewww, I wouldn’t want to be her vagina!
–10 E 53rd St
Overheard by: I thought ewww, too
Fat latina: You mean it don’t shake and jump up and down? Girl, what kinda clit do you have?
–Stanton & Clinton
Old guy sweeping sidewalk: You won’t see me begging for no pussy. No way.
–118th & 5th
Overheard by: robin b
Girl in skirt to boy, both standing in the cold: If you could see my undercarriage right now you would see that it’s quivering.
–21st & Broadway
Guy on cell: Yeah, girl. Well, just wait, ’cause I’m gonna terrorize your pussy tonight.
–Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Peter Rice
Lesbian: … So I was like, ‘Fine, bitch. You can shove your own fucking fingers up your own fucking cooch. I’m going to put on my clothes and sit in the corner and change my Facebook status…’
–Restroom, Stuyvesant High School
Teen boy: I ate too much pussy. Now I have pussy poisoning.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: sara swank
