College student #1: People keep calling me a ‘n00b.’
College student #2: I hate that. In the two games I was ever good at I’d never call people n00bs.
College student #1: I know, me, too… I find it hilarious, but it hurts…
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: zimmerfidget
Five-year-old girl #1 on seesaw: Did you know that I have a boyfriend?
Five-year-old girl #2 on seesaw: No.
Five-year-old girl #1 on seesaw: Yes, I do. I have a boyfriend. He even kissed me on the lips, so he’s my boyfriend.
–Playground, Bleecker St
Girl #1: Actually, my mom ran into your grandmother the other day near here.
Girl #2: Oh, really? Was my grandmother nice to her or was she a raving bitch?
Girl #1: Oh. I don’t know.
–7th & Christopher
Hipster to sobbing girl: Hey, do you want some pizza? Come on, I’ll buy you a slice of pizza. [She keeps crying.] Vegan pizza?
–N 7th & Bedford
Nanny: You don’t want to watch the parade?
Little boy: They think… They think… They think the government should give them jobs even though they are from other countries, but they should just go back.
–Immigration march, 14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Ghetto lady #1: … So they had to grow her a new nose on her arm because they said it wouldn’t live on her face.
Ghetto lady #2: What? How long it take to grow a nose on a arm?
Ghetto lady #1: That bitch gonna die with a nose on her arm.
–9th & 6th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Woman who endured rush hour: Wow, what a rush! That was just like Frogger!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Amy D M
Girl watching friend play Frogger: Oh, I remember how to play! You’re supposed to avoid the cars!
–Barcade, Williamsburg
Overheard by: champ
Dude: I’m telling you, I was put on this Earth just to play fuckin’ Tetris.
–W 13th St
Overheard by: Lauren L
Little Dominican boy to classmate: Why you had to tell on me, white boy, version-one-of-Donkey-Kong?!
–PS 8, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Mona
Law student: He’s a good professor, but he doesn’t have that Mortal Kombat instinct. You know — finish him!
–Sammy’s Noodle Shop, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Chick: Yo, people pee in this place. I don’t know why.
Friend: What?
Chick: I got a bionic nose. I can smell pee from three days ago.
–ACE, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: blistexaddict
Chick: Are you chewing gum?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: Take that out of your mouth. I hear that you get cancer by chewing gum while smoking.
–W 4th St
Girl #1: Uh… This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: This is the women’s restroom, right?
Girl #2: Yeah. Why?
Girl #1: There was just a guy in here!
Girl #3: No… that’s a woman.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #3: Yeah, she’s in my class.
–NYU
Headline by: Brady
Runners-Up:
· “Does She Always Stand While She Pees?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “Hermaphrodites 101” – Sami
· “Janet Reno: The College Years” – International Man of Leisure
· “Just because I’m washing my hands, doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.” – aaron Stephenson
