White girl: Hey, what are your pants made of? They’re really shiny.
Asian guy: Oh, that’s probably the grease from all the food I eat. I eat a lot of greasy food. Oh, and soy milk. I spilled soy milk on myself; I “soyled” myself.
–6 train
Overheard by: LiAps
Girl #1: I was on the subway once and missed my stop and ended up in Brooklyn. Not hipster Brooklyn, I’m talking about fried chicken and people sitting on curbs Brooklyn.
Girl #2: Wow, were you scared?
Girl #1: Yeah, so I just asked a toothless 80 year old man where the closest subway station was.
–8th Street between University & 5th
Overheard by: Jasmin Livingston
Girl #1: Oh my god, he is so cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, I told you he was like, totally hot.
Girl #3: Yeah, he is. But he is so drunk, and such a walking STD!
Girl #2: I know. I’m drunk too, though.
–83rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Mr Gemini
White chick: That girl has so many STDs; she just has to!
–Sunset Park
White chick: Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you…how do you say “hello” in Korean?
Asian chick: I don’t know; I’m Chinese, bitch!
–Starbucks, 44th & Broadway
Asian girl: So he gave me directions to go meet him.
White guy: What? I ain’t goin there, that neighborhood is all Cripped out! I ain’t about to get shot!
Asian girl: Look, I can call a car service to pick us up at the train station if it’s that big of a deal.
White guy: Naw, I’m kiddin’, I’ll just stab ’em with a pen.
–Walgreens, 4th Avenue
Black girl: I didn’t want to say this in there, but have you noticed how all Mexican men working in bars and restaurants look the same?
White girl #1: Well I bet they all think that white women look the same.
White girl #2: Well all elephants probably look the same to gorillas.
–West 3rd Street & 6th Avenue
Street guy: Belts, watches, designer Bags! I got it all, step right up and buy, buy, buy! Everything just $10!
WASP woman: Careful, he probably stole most of it. Let’s not buy anything that’s been stolen.
WASP man: Sir, you know stealing is illegal?
Street guy: Hey, fuck you, man. Get the fuck out, I didn’t want your fuckin’ business anyways, faggot…stolen fucking goods for sale, stolen watches, stolen bads, stolen belts…!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: John Doe Patriot
A white girl on a cell drops a piece of paper. A Hispanic man picks it up.
Hispanic man: Senorita! Senorita!
White girl: What? Oh, sorry.
She returns to her call.
White girl: …No, I just thought I was being harassed.
–14th & University
Guy: Chicago is obviously a better city than New York. New York is Tourist Central.
Girl: That’s not true, there are still parts of the city that are untainted.
Guy: Yeah, like where?
Girl: I dunno, like, some places I still see a lot of graffiti and black people.
–56th & Lexington
Overheard by: Becca
Sober black guy: Oh no, call the ambulance, white man down!
Drunk white guy: I know, I’m such a cracker!
–Lexington & 22nd
Overheard by: Zane Gould
