AM New York hawker: Have a fantastic morning!
Embittered commuter: Stay away from me!
–7th Ave, E/B/D station
Overheard by: Jatmos
AM New York hawker: Have a fantastic morning!
Embittered commuter: Stay away from me!
–7th Ave, E/B/D station
Overheard by: Jatmos
Young woman running up platform, slamming into tourist lady: Damn fucking tourists! Get the fuck out of my way!
Tourist lady: Excuse me, what?
Young woman: Don’t be ‘what’-ing me. I just gave you a New-fucking-York experience. You should be thanking me.
–Subway station, 42nd St
Overheard by: Susane
Tourist lady: Excuse me, where is West 54th Street?
Guy: You’re on it.
Tourist lady: Do you know where Jay Leno is?
Guy: Los Angeles.
–W 54th & 6th
Overheard by: shankalicious
Conductor: Uh, ma’am, you can’t stand in the doorway.
Woman: Why not?
Conductor: Because then the train won’t move.
Woman: And who’s it to you to tell me what I can and can’t do on this train? I’m a New Yorker, I have rights!
Conductor: I’m the conductor.
Woman: Well, then I don’t want to be on your train!
–A train
Overheard by: Calmandodd
Lady standing in line for bus: Excuse me? Can we board the bus now? It’s so dirty here…
Three New Yorkers at once: Fuck you, lady!
Guy passerby: I love New York.
–Port Authority
Girl: My life is kind of boring for how cool I am.
–Greenwich & Perry, West Village
Overheard by: B-rooke
Hobo: It’s kind of rough being the most handsome toothless guy in the world.
–Washington Square Park fountain
30-ish hipster wannabe: How can you not see how amazing I am?
–53rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Someone still looking for something amazing.
Asian girl on cell: I’m not elitist, I’m just better than everyone else.
–59th & 5th
Angry rastafarian: What are you looking at? I am the best crazy Jesus-believer ever!
–5 train
Overheard by: believed him
Homeless guy: I got a sore on my left foot! Look at it! That’s what comes from being in America!
–Beth Israel Emergency Room, 18th & 1st
Doorman: So I looked her straight in the face and I said, ‘Listen, you’re in America now.’
–Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Columbus Circle
Yasser Arafat look-alike: If she’s naked, don’t go in there; I know how these goddamn American girls are.
–Bedford St & W 4th
Overheard by: Birthday Boy
Woman in exaggerated Latin accent: Run, run, American people! Run before you miss the train!
–Uptown 6 train, Wall St station
Overheard by: gay among hardhats
Guy: It’s an old American name, like in the Bible.
–A train arriving at 59th St
Overheard by: IanM
Park Avenue woman, upset because cashier didn’t have quarters: I have every right to be nasty! I’m an American! I’m a fucking New Yorker!
–23rd & Park
Spanish hipster tourist: Americans are the worst!
–Apple store, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Guy: Excuse me, miss. Excuse me. Excuse me! Woman, move!
Girl: Dude, I’m not a tourist.
Guy: Oh. Sorry.
–59th St & Lex
American girl: Get yourself a fucking muffin and let’s go.
British boy: I don’t have any cash.
Girl: Use my credit card, I’m leaving now.
Boy: I can’t use your card. I don’t have your id.
Girl: They don’t check, they never check. You look like a woman, you look like a fucking transexual.
Boy: Really?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: johnjoseph bibby
Lost tourist on cell, blocking the crosswalk with her luggage: I’m standing on the corner of 42nd and 3rd.
Passing native: Yeah, and in everyone’s mothafucking way.
–42nd & 3rd
Overheard by: She was in my way too
