Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t So Vanilla

Suit on cell: Yeah, I know. Did I tell you about the dominatrix?

–49th & 7th

Little girl, to her mother: But why is the mummy all tied up?

–Egyptian Wing, the Met

Overheard by: Erin Partridge

Hipster woman: So I think my father is into kiddie porn.

–UCBT, 26th & 8th

Overheard by: Tobster

Dude, to his female date: So, do you like to do anal? Come on, you can be honest. You’ve already blown me.

—Calle Ocho, 81st & Columbus

Overheard by: Sara

Girl: I like you. Just not in a toe-up-the-ass way.

–1 train

Overheard by: i like toes

Cute guy: I mean, shit. I was in a threesome with him. He has no right to judge me.

–34th & 8th

Posted on July 5, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Hipsters, Kids, Kink, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, Porn, Suits, The Met, Three is Company

Wednesday One-Liners Cover Their Bases

Girl: Whatever, it’s disgusting. I mean, you can cum in my butt but not in my vag.

–Q train

Woman: I have sex in my vagina, not in my bottom!

–Prospect Park

Posted on July 5, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Hootchies, On the Subway, Sex, Vagina

Who Said Anything About a Small Dick?

Queer #1: My friend Sarah is usually into guido jock boys, and it never works out. Now she’s with a short guy with a belly who’s losing his hair, and she’s never been happier.
Queer #2: I guess, but having a short fat guy with a small dick fuck your asshole until it bleeds just isn’t the same.

–51st & 9th

Posted on June 23, 2006
Backdoor, Dating, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Queers

Wednesday One-Liners Wanna Get Dirty

Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!

–Hoboken PATH

Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.

–F train downtown

Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.

–M15 bus

Overheard by: Ben Beckley

Posted on May 17, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Homeless, Jesus, Kink, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Sex, Trains Not Subway

It’s Not Luck, It’s Planning

Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.

–46th & Madison Ave.

Overheard by: Douglas Quade

Posted on April 23, 2006
Backdoor, Fashion, JAPs, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Suits, Yuppies

Wednesday One-liners Already Miss QAF

Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.

–XL, West 16th street

Overheard by: straight girl

Posted on April 19, 2006
Backdoor, Bars & Clubs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Preppies, Queers, Religion, Sex, STDs, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

The Blind Man Was a Bluff

JAP #1: So then he like…stuck his stick up her hoo-ha!
JAP #2: Like in her area? You mean he went for the cash and prizes?
JAP #1: Yeah! So he like… hit her there with his stick, and she spun around and was like, “What the fuck?”, but then was like, “Oh, you’re blind.” But I don’t care. It’s fucked up.

–University & Waverly

Overheard by: tj