Guy #1: Dude, that chick is so hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, I would so pee in her butt.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I’d pee in her butt, too.
Random dude, passing by: What the fuck?
–Times Square
Overheard by: MindControlFun
Guy #1: Dude, that chick is so hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, I would so pee in her butt.
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I’d pee in her butt, too.
Random dude, passing by: What the fuck?
–Times Square
Overheard by: MindControlFun
Transparent guy: That’s why gay guys are the best.
The straight man: How so?
Transparent guy: Gay guys are just bags of hormones. If they want sex, they just ask for it. Girls are like, “Let’s all play coy and innocent!”
The straight man: I never thought of it like that.
Transparent guy: Gay guys are like, “Put your balls into my butt” kinda thing.
The straight man, laughing: Yeah, if I was gay I’d probably have sex all the time.
Transparent guy: Me too…Like just go out…find some gay dude… and touch his balls.
The straight man: Dude, what are you on?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
College kid #1: If you must choose, would you rather be taking it up the ass or be the one fucking another guy?
College kid #2: I’d be the one giving it to another guy.
College kid #1: Damn, you really are a fag.
College kid #2: And you?
College kid #1: The same.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Mhunt
Suit on cell: Yeah, I know. Did I tell you about the dominatrix?
–49th & 7th
Little girl, to her mother: But why is the mummy all tied up?
–Egyptian Wing, the Met
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Hipster woman: So I think my father is into kiddie porn.
–UCBT, 26th & 8th
Overheard by: Tobster
Dude, to his female date: So, do you like to do anal? Come on, you can be honest. You’ve already blown me.
—Calle Ocho, 81st & Columbus
Overheard by: Sara
Girl: I like you. Just not in a toe-up-the-ass way.
–1 train
Overheard by: i like toes
Cute guy: I mean, shit. I was in a threesome with him. He has no right to judge me.
–34th & 8th
Girl: Whatever, it’s disgusting. I mean, you can cum in my butt but not in my vag.
–Q train
Woman: I have sex in my vagina, not in my bottom!
–Prospect Park
Queer #1: My friend Sarah is usually into guido jock boys, and it never works out. Now she’s with a short guy with a belly who’s losing his hair, and she’s never been happier.
Queer #2: I guess, but having a short fat guy with a small dick fuck your asshole until it bleeds just isn’t the same.
–51st & 9th
Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!
–Hoboken PATH
Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.
–F train downtown
Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Ben Beckley
Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.
–46th & Madison Ave.
Overheard by: Douglas Quade
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
JAP #1: So then he like…stuck his stick up her hoo-ha!
JAP #2: Like in her area? You mean he went for the cash and prizes?
JAP #1: Yeah! So he like… hit her there with his stick, and she spun around and was like, “What the fuck?”, but then was like, “Oh, you’re blind.” But I don’t care. It’s fucked up.
–University & Waverly
Overheard by: tj
