Customer: What happened to your hair?
Male barista (showing off haircut): Locks of love… locks of love.
Customer: So… someday I’ll wear your hair in a play?


Overheard by: Maggie

Waitress's friend: You doin' somethin' different with your hair? You got a glow about you.
Waitress, whispering but audible by everyone around: I'm on the rag, yo!

–Garden Grill, Graham Ave

Overheard by: digamma

Barista #1: Dude, that would be awesome.
Barista #2: That’s crap. That would look stupid, and I will give you 50 bucks if you find me one!
Barista #1: Deal.
Customer: What are you guys talking about?
Barista #2: Human cheetah man.

–Tea Lounge, Union St

Italian dude: So, are you interested in men?
Coffee house chick: I’m only interested in alternative lifestyle karaoke characters.

–Waltz-Astoria, 24th St & Ditmars Blvd

Man: So, what's your name?
Waitress: Jessica.
Man: Well, hello Jessica! I'm Brown.
Waitress: (nods head uninterested)
Man: Like the bear.
Waitress:(walks away)

–Bar, 34th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: MMM

Starbucks barista: Sorry, we're all out of bananas. Would you like to try something else?
Beach bum tanning girl: But I never drink anything from here that doesn't have bananas.
Starbucks barista: Well, we have some bananas in the back, but they still look green.
Beach bum tanning girl, clearly confused: If they're green on the outside, does that mean they're green on the inside too?

–Starbucks, Staten Island

Overheard by: Jacqueline Battaglia

Barista: Sir, you can pay for the juice over there.
Middle-aged Brit: But I bought it.
Barista: No you didn’t.
Middle-aged Brit: Yes, I did — at another place.
Barista: Yeah, oookay [rolls eyes].
Middle-aged Brit: I really did.
Barista: Yeah, oookay.
Middle-aged Brit: What the fuck is your problem?
Barista: Well, you just stole juice, and you’re being an ass, so you can leave now.
Middle-aged Brit: Excuse–
Old lady Brit: –Alexander, just stop talking! He could shoot you!

–Starbucks, Fashion District

Overheard by: only in new york

Barista #1: Guess what I just did — drank a whole package of frappucino mix.
Barista #2: Ew.
Barista #1: She said she’d pay me five dollars.
Barista #2: What if you get, like, diarrhea or something?
Barista #3: I’ll give you seven if you get diarrhea.

–Starbucks, 111th St

Knitting girl: Don't let your drunk girlfriend name your cat, because eventually you will break up with her and then you'll have a cat with a stupid name.

–The Point Knitting Cafe

Overheard by: Heather

Woman coming out of restroom, holding a bottle of liquid soap: You gotta keep the cat clean!

–NYU Hospital

Overheard by: A nurse who wish she wasn't sometimes!!

Female tourist, to herself: There are nine ways to skin a cat, and I know all of them.

–23rd & 8th

Man to woman, arguing: Fuck you, Nina, that's the point. You're not taking my cat!

–Central Park

Old man to friend, during lunch: I don't like cats' attitudes. Unlike dogs, they can be so aloof. Especially to Jews…

–Deli, 1st Ave

Overheard by: Allison

Cafe staff: Excuse me, are these yours? (holds up jogging shorts)
Man at computer: No, but I do like smelling used shorts.

–Snice Cafe, 8th Ave & Jane St

Overheard by: T. Castillo