Customer: I'd like a venti passion tea lemonade please.
Barista: Sorry, we're out of venti cups.
Customer: Okay, can you just put it in two tall cups then?
Barista: Sure, no problem.
Barista, after ringing up customer: That's $5.98.
Customer: Um, a venti lemonade is $3.55.
Barista: Yes, but you ordered two tall lemonades.
–Starbucks, Queens
Barista to client: Today is the first day of summer, so it's the longest day of the year!
Client: Oh, yeah, how long is it exactly?
Cashier: I dunno, like 27 hours or something.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Brie
Barista: What would you like?
Woman: You know what? I think I'm going to go get a smoothie instead. (leaves and crosses the street to go to Jamba Juice)
–Starbucks
Barista: See, in this one you can mold your very own candles into the shape of wax pine cones in a multitude of colors.
(quiet drunken silence)
Drinker: Well, which colors?
–Bowery b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: Jen
Waitress: Would you like another martini?
NYU girl, pensively: Umm… I don't know. I have to leave in 15 minutes. Do you think I can get it in?
Waitress: How fast do you drink?
NYU girl: Yeah, pretty fast. Okay, another of the same.
–Lure Fishbar
Overeager middle-aged guy: So, when are you guys going to show A Perfect Storm?
Snotty hipster barista: Uh… Never.
–Mudd Cafe, before 1950s Art Film Screening
Overheard by: Charles
Young barista to another, peeling a banana: You like your women like you like your bananas.
–Bedford Ave
Man outside fry place: They don't sell watermelon here. I read the menu three times, and no watermelon.
–Pomme Frites, 2nd Ave
Dude on cell: Banana. Banana banana banana banana. Banana.
–Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
30-something suit to another: If I'm hungry I'll eat a banana, but I can't eat more than one. Because bananas, like, annoy me.
–Metro-North Harlem Line
Employee: All natural mango juice, on sale for 66… no, 69 cents off the regular price.
(customer walks away, uninterested) Where do you think you're going?
–Whole Foods
Overheard by: Sac
Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fonvielle
Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose.
–Ninja Japanese Restaurant
Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja?
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jess
Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja!
–Brooklyn Health Center
Girl, at 9 am: Do you have decaf coffee?
Waitress: I'm sorry, we don't.
Girl: Okay, I'll take a regular.
Waitress: Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve coffee at all here.
Girl: Okay, I'll take a bud light.
–LGA Airport
NYU girl: Grande dirty chai with five shots of espresso.
Barista: You wanna die, bitch?
–Starbucks
