The Most Thrilling Conversation Leon Has Had in Weeks

Older gentleman: Man! Yesterday was my birthday. Guess how old I am?
Disinterested older lady: I dunno. 40s?
Older gentleman: I'm 53 but I still look like I'm in my 30s.
Disinterested older lady, deadpan: I'm a million years old.
Older gentleman: Where you headin'?
Disinterested older lady: Up to 125th Street, then I take the bus to Queens.
Older gentleman: Queens? I never been to no Queens. What's out there in Queens, man? I gotta visit one day.
Disinterested older lady: You ain't missing much.

–M15 Bus

Posted on May 2, 2010
Age/Aging, Birthdays, Bus, Old People, On the Bus, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Questions, Travel

How Dare He Have a Life?

Girl #1: Yeah, we went on a date last night but I don't think it's going to work out because he'll be out of town on my birthday.
Girl #2: Asshole.

–NYU

Overheard by: Natalie

Posted on April 26, 2010
Birthdays, Dating, Girls, Insults, NYU

I'm Next, Motherfucker!

Little boy to man sitting across from him: It's my birthday!
Man: Well, you know what? Now you have to wait 12 months till your next birthday. I don't have to wait 12 months till my next birthday.

–R Train

Posted on October 17, 2009
Assholes, Birthdays, Compare/Contrast, Kids, On the Subway, Strangers, Time

We Should Get Together Less Often

Girl #1: Hi!
Girl #2: I'm sorry I couldn't make your party. I was at Jiddy's birthday in Bryant Park.
Girl #1: It's okay.
Girl #2: How are you?
Girl #1: I've had a hell of a week. My dog's in the hospital.
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one that's alive.

–L Train

Posted on October 12, 2009
Apologies, Birthdays, Celebrations/Parties, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Man's Best Friend, On the Subway, Questions

I Mean, That's Something You Learn In, Like, Kindergarten

Diva #1: So I am not sure what to do about her.
Diva #2: What's her birthday?
Diva #1: I don't know, sometime in June.
Diva #2: Oh oh oh! Hold up, she is a Gemini!
Diva #1: Yeah, she is.
Diva #2: You never trust a Gemini. I never trust 'em. Girl, I can't believe that you trusted a Gemini.

–L Train

Posted on August 29, 2009
Birthdays, Girls, Idiots, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity

You Never Could Meet a Deadline, Britney.

Girl #1: So your birthday is tomorrow?
Girl #2: Yeah, it should have been today but I was too much of a fat-ass to fit through my mom's vagina.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2, yelling: It should have been today but I was too much of a fat-ass to fit through my mom's vagina.
Girl #1: Bummer.

–Spring & Varick

Posted on August 22, 2009
Ass, Birthdays, Diet/Weight, Girls, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Soho, Vagina, Weirdness

Ted Kennedy Also Had Sisters

Middle aged Latina to Latino boy, eating: Happy birthday! Look at you, surrounded by all these women on your birthday. You are going to be so nice when you grow up. You have five sisters. All the men in your family are grown up, and you got stuck with all the girls. So you're going to be so nice to girls when you get older. Right?
(boy is silent)
Middle aged Latina: Right?
(boy is silent)
Middle aged Latina: You're going to be nice girls when when you grow up, right?
Latino boy: Yeah, sure! Whatever!

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Didn't quite turn out that way

Posted on July 13, 2009
Age/Aging, Beauty, Birthdays, Boys, Family Ties, Kids, Latinos, Restaurants & Cafes

I Just Wondered How You Got Blue Ink on Your Tongue

Hipster dude: So what was the special going away gift he gave you?
Hot Latin chick: He let me sign his nuts this time! He's so fucking hot.
Hipster dude: Um…this time?
Hot Latin chick: Yeah, for my birthday I signed his penis.
Hipster dude: Stupid question…did you do anything else with it?
Hot Latin chick: Dude? I'm not a slut! …jeez, man.

–Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: likethisstupid

Posted on May 2, 2009
Balls, Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Birthdays, Gifts, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Latinos, Penis, Questions, Weirdness, Williamsburg

And Pretend It Didn't Happen, Like Usual?

Guy #1: So when's your birthday?
Guy #2: It's June 24.
Guy #1: Hey, mine is May 24.
Guy #2: And my girlfriend's is January 24.
Guy #1: Wow…we should all have sex.

–7th & Ave B

Posted on April 5, 2009
Alphabet City, Birthdays, Guys, Offers and requests, Street, Three is Company, Time

She Just Took Me Out to Dinner. Bitch.

Girl #1: So then he asked if I would send her a birthday card.
Girl #2: Oh my god, seriously? Why would he want you to send his mom a birthday card?
Girl #1: I know! It's not like she sent me one on my birthday.
Girl #2: Slut.

–Amtrak, Grand Central

Overheard by: RG

Posted on February 26, 2009
Birthdays, Family Ties, Gifts, Girls, Grand Central, Insults, Questions

Birthdays