Teen girl #1: Jason called me today and asked me if I was in Bay Ridge.
Teen girl #2: How would he know you were there? Is he stalking you or something?
Teen girl #1: God, I hope so.
–Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lotte
Teen girl #1: Jason called me today and asked me if I was in Bay Ridge.
Teen girl #2: How would he know you were there? Is he stalking you or something?
Teen girl #1: God, I hope so.
–Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lotte
Tutor: So did you understand the story you read for homework?
Girl student: The first time I read it, I didn't understand it. But the second time, I was mad fucking high, and I got it.
–Oriental Boulevard, Brooklyn
Crazy woman: I’m still alive and breathing, thank you very much, despite the best efforts of the Devil.
–Food Court, Grand Central
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Old man #1: I been walking around all day with a hole in my pants and didn't know it.
Old man #2: When did you figure it out?
Old man #1: When I sat on the seat on the train and one of my balls felt like I dipped it in a bowl of ice cream.
–DUMBO
Elder brother to younger brother: I love pussy juice.
Younger brother: True dat.
Elder brother: No, seriously, if I could I'd shoot that shit up.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ziggy
Drunk chick: I had a boyfriend once. He wanted to stick a hot iron up my ass.
Sober guy: Well did he do it?
Drunk chick: I’m standing here, aren’t I?
–Tasti D-lite, 4th Avenue
Guy on cell: I guess you’d rather spend time with your cat than me. That’s cool.
–Brooklyn Heights
Thug to girl calling for cat: You lost your cat, baby? Shit, this is Brooklyn, there’s so many street cats out here they probably ate your cat.
–Franklin & Classon, Prospect Heights Brooklyn
Teen, talking about guitars: You can never have too many. They’re like cats.
–17th & 8th
Girl on cell: Yeah, I want one too, but we should start with a cat and see how that is. You know, play it by ear.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Is that how it works?
Girl: If I looked like a cat’s poop hole I’d still want to be loved… and eaten.
–JFK
Park Slope dad: Do you know how to play dodgeball?
Eight-year-old son: No…
Park Slope dad: I throw the ball at you, and you try not to get hit.
Eight-year-old son: That doesn't sound like fun.
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Drunk white girl, walking past Staples: Ohmigod! I remember last summer when a guy spit on me at staples!
Drunk white boy: What? A Staples?
Drunk white girl: Yes, it was that Staples!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kiara
Heavyset guy: You should be out there with a camera, I'll be streaking.
Disgusted girl: I hope they withhold your degree.
–Whitehead Hall, Brooklyn College
