Woman #1: Why don’t you get a child of your own?
Woman #2: Girl, I already gots a car.
–Century 21, Cortlandt St
Woman #1: Why don’t you get a child of your own?
Woman #2: Girl, I already gots a car.
–Century 21, Cortlandt St
Bus driver: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, I have an idea: the next stop is going to be Las Vegas! Vegas, y’all! Get out those cell phones and start calling your husbands and wives. Tell ’em you won’t be home tonight. Vegas!
–M103 bus
Overheard by: Tina
Bus driver: Everyone, please move to the back of the bus…Come on, people. I’m speaking English here. Move to the back of the bus so these people can get on. There’s nothing wrong with the back of the bus. It’s not scary. There are no monsters back there. You won’t get hurt. So please move back.
–Q12 bus, Main Street, Flushing
Overheard by: Jo
Bus driver: This is Westchester Ave. Here you can transfer to the 9 and the…uh…I don’t even remember. Hey, you back there! You look like Charles Bronson! You ever heard that?…Whateva. You know you look like Charles Bronson. And the world needs another Charles Bronson.
–Bx40 bus, E Tremont Ave
Overheard by: vegannramember
Guy: I don’t think you need to tell him. It’s like if he was hit by a car, he’d know he was hit. He wouldn’t need someone to tell him.
Girl: Yeah, but he said it was “ironically,” so I don’t think he knows what happened yet.
Guy: What the fuck does that mean?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Videodrew
Bus driver stops in the middle of the street to pick up a friend. A second, random guy hurries on the bus as well.
Bus driver, to random guy: Yo, this ain’t no bus stop.
Random guy: Oh, I saw you pick him up, so…
Bus driver: Yeah, well I know him.
Random guy: Hi, I’m Dan.
–M1 bus, 110th & Madison
Teen boy #1: My mom is suing her workplace.
Teen boy #2: Why?
Teen boy #1: She has to drive for her job, and she hurt her back driving.
Teen boy #2: For a million?
Teen boy #1: Haha, maybe.
Teen boy #2: Wow, then she’ll be richer.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Emily
Dude #1 opens a taxi door, hitting Dude #2’s car.
Dude #2: Yo, man, what the fuck? You hit my car!
Dude #1, walking away: The taxi hit your car.
–28th, between 10th & 11th
Overheard by: Milan P
Limo driver: Here you go, sir.
Donald Trump: Is this the Mercrdes one I wanted?
Limo driver: No, sir, it is a Buick.
Donald Trump: Well, I’ll ride in it this time, but next time it better be a Mercedes. I have class.
–Trump Building, Pine & Wall
Teen: This car is stolen.
Man: What the fuck you talking about?
Teen: I got a StolenCarReport on my phone about this car being stolen.
Man: Muthafucka, you about to get your phone stolen.
–Montague & Hicks, Brooklyn Heights
Skateboarder on cell: I was just at the spot and there was no car. Fuck, I know what a car looks like and it wasn’t there. Are you sure it was a white Lexus? Fuck you, it wasn’t there. I got eyes, you know. Well then fuck off and go buy your own damn drugs!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Russian driver: I don’t know, she stop right in front of me.
Cop: She just slammed on the brakes? Why did she do that?
Russian driver: I don’t know, light was yellow. You know, green is go, red is stop, yellow is go faster.
Cop: Sure, absolutely.
–21st Ave & 77th St, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Joel
