Clothing

Woman digging through scarves: Do you think these are for older people?
Male pal: Yes, for older people. For you.

–The Met store

Overheard by: akka

Headline by: Stretchen

Runners-Up:
· “Definetely In The Friend Zone” – Dion
· “Never Insult a Woman with a Perfect Choking Device” – Megan
· “No One Said Ashton Kutcher Was Bright” – punk’d
· “That’s It. I’m Leaving My Teeth in Next Time I Blow You.” – laladypoet
· “They Help Catch the Drool” – Dan
· “Well That’s the Last He’ll See Of the Sagging Sisters” – L

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Guy: Marriage is not for me. It's like having cable with only one channel.
Girl: Me either. My mama says it's like when you see some clothes in a store window and you think you want it, but you look at it for too long and change your mind. That's how I feel.
Guy: Dang! That's cold, son! You're comparing guys to clothes?! That ain't right!
Girl: You just compared women to tv channels.

–110th St & Broadway

Overheard by: CE

Man hawking straw hats: Hats, 10 dollars! Two for 15!
Man walking by: 10 dollars! For 10 dollars, there should be a feather.
Man hawking straw hats: You want a feather? Catch a bird!

–Bleecker & Thompson

Overheard by: meli$$a

A sharply dressed woman offers a pair of gloves to a hobo: Sir, could you use these?
Hobo: Lady, you should know better. Those don’t match my outfit.

–23rd & 7th

Girl in geometrical dress: Whoa!
Girl in solid print dress: What?!
Girl in geometrical dress: I just looked down at my dress and got so dizzy!

–Park Ave & 40th St

Jiu-Jitsu student #1: Have you seen my new gloves? Well, they are less of hit gloves and more being hit gloves.
Jiu-Jitsu student #2: You put them on your face?

–Jiu-Jitsu Dojo, Manhattan

Yuppie wife to husband: I bet I know what those stains are on your gloves…
Husband: I highly doubt I was fingering you with these gloves on.

–Whole Foods Escalator, Time Warner Center

Overheard by: A-Robb

Gay guy, asking girl while waiting for bathroom: So how does this outfit look?
Girl: Uhmm… It's … good.
Gay guy: Shut up!
Girl: What?
Gay guy: If you don't like it then just tell me!
Girl: Do you want the truth or support?
Gay guy: Support sounds good.

–Time Square

Female punk: I don’t give a shit! I’m not wearing a long, white fucking dress at the wedding!
Male punk: But every woman in my family wears that dress!
Female punk: I’m wearing something short and tight, and if the priest doesn’t like it, he can suck my dick!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Mateo que Feo

Grad student: Translation: Will you marry me? Or: I don’t want germs.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Dude: … My wedding [mumble] gonna take away my clothes, so I’m going to need a tear-away tuxedo.

–53rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jo

Chick to another: Yeah, he’s the one who wouldn’t marry her because she was too pale.

–Starbucks

Blonde: … And I’m really not sure, because he said he shouldn’t unless we are married, but that it’s okay, we could just do it and then he could just confess his sins or something like that…

–Broadway & Prince

Overheard by: Dan

Lesbian to group: So, what is the reason behind getting married, besides pretending to be heterosexual? Exactly — presents!

–Party, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jude