Clothing

Sophisticated old lady #1: I had no clean panties tonight.
Sophisticated old lady #2: Well, just go commando.
Sophisticated old lady #1: Yeah, that is what I did.
Sophisticated old lady #2: Yeah, I always go commando.

–San Pietro restaurant, E 54th St

Four-year-old girl to nanny: No, princesses don't get tickled. They just dance and get married.

–North Williamsburg

Overheard by: anti-feminist

White girl in hoodie: If I see any of the other girls there want to dance with you they'd better watch out, 'cause it's stab-a-slut Sunday.

–J Train

Short guy with greasy hair: Yo, this girl was like, "wanna dance?" and I was like "okay," so she started dancing mad good. She was grinding up against me with her ass.

–3rd Ave & 71st, Brooklyn

Gay guy on cell in long line during Circuit City closeout: Does it have speakers? Because I like to dance in my room, and I like to feel the music. It's really cold, so I like to dance in my room, you know?

–Circuit City, Union Square

Drunk girl to Guido she knocked heads with while dancing: I'm a drinker, not a dancer!

–Hook & Ladder Pub, Murray Hill

Overheard by: also a drinker

Professor: I'm of the personal opinion that anything counts for art. Take, for example, Nelly's "Hot in Here." We have an admonition of certain weather conditions and an entreaty for certain members of a demographic to react within a certain way, and a compliant voice replies, "I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off." This piece of art demonstrates how much easier life would be if getting a woman naked was that easy. And also, it makes me dance, and as we know, hips don't lie.

–NYU Bobst Library

Overheard by: queenofscots

Teen girl #1: So, how are things with Dan?
Teen girl #2: Pretty good. We video chatted for like an hour and a half last night.
Teen girl #1: That's awesome!
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know. I wasn't wearing clothes but like I can't remember the last time I wore a shirt in a video chat.
Teen girl #1: Umm…

–KIKU, Park Slope

Hipster girl: When I was sixteen I dated this Jewish bisexual guy… He was so Jewish he wore a yarmulke.
Hipster guy: Did you blog about it?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Fixed Rider

Girl #1: She is like, mad flat.
Girl #2: I know, right?
Girl #1: So I hear that she wears two pairs of pants to make her butt look bigger!

–A train

Cafe staff: Excuse me, are these yours? (holds up jogging shorts)
Man at computer: No, but I do like smelling used shorts.

–Snice Cafe, 8th Ave & Jane St

Overheard by: T. Castillo

Sales girl: Okay, so what did you want to get for her?
Old lady: Well, she’s a size five.
Sales girl: Yeah, but our sizes here run small, so you probably want to get her a seven or something.
Old lady: No, my granddaughter, she’s a five.
Sales girl: Yeah, but our sizes-
Old lady: -She’s a five.
Sales girl: Yeah, okay.

–Billabong store, Broadway

Overheard by: Kelsey

Guy: They’re George Strait jeans.
Girl: I love George Strait. He’s a hottie.
Guy: He only gives his name to the best.
Girl: Didn’t he give his name to that tractor place?
Guy: It must have been the best tractor.

–NYU Law commons area, W. 3rd St.

Overheard by: Micah Prude

Little girl, loudly, to security guard: My brother has a suspicious package in his pants!
Mother, pulling her away: You don't talk about that in public!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Strip search in 3…2…1…

Guido #1: So what you you think about this new shirt?
Guido #2: It’s fucking great. You should buy another one just like it and throw them both out.

–Hudson Hotel, W. 58th Street

Overheard by: MIchael G