Man: This is no good. It’s sour. I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: I put ice cream and milk.
Man: I don’t care what you put in it. Maybe it’s the milk, maybe it’s the ice cream. You taste it, or bring out a manager to taste it, either way I want one that’s fresh.
Employee: You come tomorrow. Speak with manager. Change with him.
Man: So what am I supposed to do? Stick this in my ass until tomorrow?
–Baskin-Robbins, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Jenn Milazzo
Man #1: Isn’t your cousin a big producer or something?
Man #2: No, he’s a dog walker.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jon
Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
Tall girl: I think I'm part dog.
Short girl: That explains a lot.
–Kings Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margot
Guy #1: Are people getting dumber or is it just me?
Guy #2: Both.
–6 Train
New York girl: Wait, who are the Bengals?
Cincinnati girl: Our football team
New York girl: Wow, that sucks, to be named after a kind of bracelet.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: leilah
Student #1: It’s crazy to think the pope was part of the Hitler youth.
Student #2: Not really — the Hitler youth was like the YMCA of Germany.
–Van crossing GW Bridge
Tourist dad: So, if you had two hundred dollars and you could spend it in the city any way you wanted to, what would you–
Small boy: –I’d buy roasted peanuts.
Tourist dad: What? No. Not peanuts.
Small boy: Why not? If it’s my money, I’m gonna spend it on peanuts!
Tourist dad, annoyed: Fine, you can get the damn peanuts. What would you do with the rest of the money?
Small boy, thinking: Well, that would leave me with… about a hundred and ninety dollars?
Tourist dad: No way. You are not buying 10-dollar roasted peanuts.
–Broadway
Overheard by: amused pedestrian
Midwestern tourist: Is she Spanish or retarded?
New Yorker: Retarded.
–19th St & 8th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Danny
