Girl: That club is the worst thing to happen to this neighborhood.
Guy: Why? Have you been there?
Girl: No, but I live in this neighborhood. I know what it's about.
Guy: Wait… You live in Brooklyn.
Girl: Yeah, because this neighborhood is too fucking expensive.
–1st Ave &1 St, East Village
20-something chick: So one of the side effects of my anti-depressive medication is a complete lack of sexual desire.
20-something dude: Oh well, mine don't do that!
20-something chick: Uh… okay?
20-something dude: … just saying.
20-something chick: They also make it harder for men to ejaculate. Not that I would know.
20-something dude: Yes you would, don't lie to me.
20-something chick, hanging head: …I know.
–114th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Guy #1: Chris Noth is way better than Vincent D'Onofrio on Law & Order.
Guy #2: Yeah, but that's not to say that VD isn't great.
Guy #1: Well, yeah, I still fuckin love VD!
–1 Train
Overheard by: I believe that they are called STIs
Teen girl #1: How was your date last night?
Teen girl #2: I forgot how bad cum tasted until the end of the night.
Teen girl #1: So, well then!
–7th Ave, Brooklyn
Kid: Mom, can I get some water?
Mom: No.
Kid: I'm thirsty, mom! I'm gonna get a seizure!
–77th St & Broadway
(construction worker pulls out a new tool from the truck)
Worker #1: Where the fuck did you get that?
Worker #2: Fuckin' Home Depot!
Worker #3: That's fuckin' fancy!
–33rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Erin Flannery
Frenchman: What's up, dude?
Girl: So I see your roommate is rubbing off on you!
Frenchman (horrified): What? No. No. No.
Girl (laughing): It's a figure of speech.
–5th Ave
Girl #1: I am so tired of doing dirty things with dirty people!
Girl #2: Every time we did it, people laughed.
Girl #1: Everyone laughed!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: jira monkey
Runner: The top 20% of New Yorkers couldn't exist without the…
Hobo (interrupting): The top 20% of New Yorkers suck.
–80th & Columbus
Overheard by: 20 percenter
Chick #1 in stall: So Jessica*…
(loud hand-drier turns on for a few seconds, then off)
Chick #2, in adjacent stall: Yeah?
(loud hand-drier turns on again, then off)
Chick #1: So did I tell you about…
(loud hand-drier turns on again, then off)
Chick #1: So then I sucked his co…
(loud hand-drier turns on again, then off)
Chick #1: And long story short, I'm pregnant!
(loud hand-drier turns on again)
–Bathroom Bohemian Beer Garden, Astoria
Overheard by: SillyUrn
