(at the gay pride festival)
Girl handing out stickers: Do you want a sticker?
Lady with a lot of stickers on: Fo' sho I'll take a sticker… and a cheeseburger, and some ice for the corn on my right foot.
Girl (looking discouraged): Ew.
–Hudson & Jane St
Overheard by: Jessica
Foreign guy: And listen, this coffee, it's for my friend. And he doesn't want it black, but he doesn't want too much milk in it. Can you handle that, my friend?
Cashier: We don't put milk in your coffee, sir.
Foreign guy: What? My friend needs milk!
Cashier: You put the milk in yourself, sir. It's right over there.
Foreign guy: He also wants Equal. No sugar. My friend, my friend, do you think you can handle that?
Cashier: The sugar is right over there.
Foreign guy: I need a cup for this milk and sugar because I don't know how much my friend wants.
Cashier: I have to start working the morning shift.
–Starbucks, 40th & Lexington
Overheard by: clp
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: Oh look, you broke your shoe, and you're pregnant.
Hugely pregnant woman: Yes.
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: Well bitch, just go to the ATM, get $20, and get a new pair of shoes. White folks got all the money.
Hugely pregnant woman: (silence)
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: You know what? God broke your shoe. He broke it cause you hate black people.
Hugely pregnant woman: Umm, this is my stop.
–2 Train
Overheard by: courtney
Hipster girl (after playing with a stranger's dog and its tennis ball): Bye, dog! Awww.
Hipster dude in fedora: Pfft. Dog thinks it's so fucking smart.
–Atlantic & Smith, Brooklyn
Conductor: This train doesn't go to Secaucus. You've got to get off at the next stop and wait for the train right behind this one.
Joisey wife: What??
Conductor: It's just one stop on the train right behind this one. (leaves)
Joisey wife: What did he say?
Joisey husband: It's one more stop, then it's Secaucus.
Joisey wife: No, he said we need to change trains or something.
Joisey husband: This is so damn confusing. We're never doing this again.
–Penn Station bound NJ Transit Train
Overheard by: Greg
Guy #1: Yeah, I saw this chick that was almost hot.
Guy #2: Almost?
Guy #1: Yeah… all her curves were going the wrong way.
–E Train
(movie set in SoHo)
Actor (showing where the fake blood stained his hands red): Man, if real blood did this it would be a lot easier to catch people.
Black guy: Man, ain't that the truth. A little hand sanitizer and that shit come right off.
–Houston & Sullivan
16-year-old girl #1: Did you hear about Mary?
16-year-old girl #2: What about her? Did she finally have her baby? It's been 14 months!
16-year-old girl #1: Nope, she's still pregnant, it's due any day now.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rhonda
(drunk guy attempts to do a split in the middle of the train car)
Woman: Oh wow, that's much better than I could've done.
Drunk guy: I will kill you.
–R Train
Overheard by: jangbang
Tourist teen #1: You know they made Jersey Boys into a movie?
Tourist teen #2: Really?
Tourist teen #1: Yeah, it was called Jersey Girl with Ben Affleck.
–Eugene O'Neill Theatre
