Young queer #1: I’m getting my tonsils out the day after next.
Young queer #2: Girlfriend, you’d better suck some dicks before then!
–14th & 8th
Young queer #1: I’m getting my tonsils out the day after next.
Young queer #2: Girlfriend, you’d better suck some dicks before then!
–14th & 8th
Lady suit: Did you bring that from the office?
Suit #1, holding up expensive pen: Oh, yeah, to look official. You know, for self-importance.
Suit #2: Yeah, self-esteem has been bad this week.
Lady suit: I think we need to go out drinking.
–Starbucks, 21st & 5th
Overheard by: maybe they could order a coffee liquer?
Guy #1: That fucking redhead bitch. I told you, man — those redheads are all the same.
Guy #2: Whoa, dude, I know you’re upset, but racism is not cool.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: rarrw
Dreadlocked whitey on bike runs red light, almost getting struck by SUV.
Dreadlocked whitey: Hey! You almost hit me! Why don’t you watch where you’re going in that thing?!
Girl in SUV, out window: Jerkoff, you just went through a red light! I should have run you over on principle.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Just trying to cross the street
Black woman #1: Who’s that big girl in your store?
Black woman #2: [Laughs.]Black woman #1: She is really big! And she looks young, too.
Black woman #2: [Nods head.]Black woman #1: How old is she?
Black woman #2: Twenty-two.
Black woman #1: Get the fuck outta here! She is too big. She needs a transplant or something.
–L train
Overheard by: John
Girl #1: Eh, let’s get out of here. [They leave right after walking in.]Girl #2: I hate books.
Girl #1: Yeah, me too.
–St. Mark’s Book Shop
Black girl: Antoine got married, I heard.
Black dude: Yo, his wife is that bitch we menage à trois-ed, like, last year. He knew what we did to that girl, and he still married her and had a kid with her.
Black girl: That’s crazy.
Black dude: See this Swiss cheese? We put holes in that girl.
–Blimpie, 23rd & 6th
Guy on date: So, are you really a Mormon?
Girl on date: Yeah.
Guy on date: Does that mean you don’t have sex?
Girl on date: Well, not vaginally.
–Mulberry & Grand
Indian man #1: When he got back, he locked himself in the air-conditioned room and wouldn’t come out.
Indian man #2, shaking head: Wouldn’t come out.
–Indian restaurant, Kew Gardens
Overheard by: Charlie B
Chick: It’s like that movie — what’s it called?
Dude: Stand by Me?
Chick: No, Gummo.
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Same thing
