Princess #1: I had to run to the cafeteria and get fro-yo because my stomach was growling in class! How embarrassing is that?
Princess #2: Oh my god. That is my worst nightmare.
–Fordham University Rose Hill
Overheard by: stine
Princess #1: I had to run to the cafeteria and get fro-yo because my stomach was growling in class! How embarrassing is that?
Princess #2: Oh my god. That is my worst nightmare.
–Fordham University Rose Hill
Overheard by: stine
Girl #1: I have no idea what happened, but when I woke up my bed was full of clam chowder.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Really!
–Q train
Salesguy #1: Dude, I think I smell or something…
Salesguy #2: You smell like the robust combination of onions and poop.
–The Puma Store, Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: Jeeps
Man: I can’t leave my door unlocked in the Barrio. Someone might sneak in and steal all my spices.
–42nd & Ditmars, Astoria
Man on cell: Now why the fuck would you go and eat my ravioli? Dat’s mine!
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: Danny
Black tween girl: And that nigga bitch Rihanna thinks she can do ballet? Shit! I can do ballet. The only thing I ever seen that nigga do right is eat fried chicken.
–Q train
Overheard by: kb
Woman: I mean, I would have loved rice. We all would have loved rice.
–8th St between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Jaya
Chick: The other day I ate a hot dog, and it had a bone in it. I don’t know what animal they make hot dogs out of, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have bones.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: seth kleinman
Girl: Food is like candy.
–92nd & Broadway
Shrewd observer: He is either in the Army or chews a lot of gum.
–Ludlow & Rivington
Overheard by: pete Lanpr
Lady: There ain’t no way I’m standing in front of a stove all day making tuna salad. It’s fucking hot!
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Queer: Oh my God, cottage cheese is albino diarrhea.
–City Diner, 90th & Broadway
Man to child in stroller: What do you want? You want money? Do you want money or a bagel?
–Absolut Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Overheard by: another jew
Chick on cell: …No, not years of porn, ears of corn! Corn, like you eat!
–Ding Dong’s, 106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jas
Passionate woman: I just love egg white! It’s like painting to me! The texture, the smell…
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Shivvers
Pringles lover: Yeah, he’s, like, all that minus the bag of chips.
–14th St between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: the chips
Big black dude: So tell me, how much would it cost to get a huuuuge jar of mayonnaise, outta state?
–Uptown 5 train
Passenger #1: It's like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too.
Passenger #2: I don't get that. I mean, if I bought the cake, why wouldn't I eat it?
Passenger #1: That's not the point, if you eat the cake it's not there anymore. Get it?
Passenger #2: Then why did I buy the cake in the first place?
(15 minutes later)
Passenger #2: But what about the cake?
Passenger #1: So did you watch The Hills last night?
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Dr.C
Teen girl #1: No, I don’t think I’ll be buying a chocolate vagina.
Teen girl #2: Why not?! It tastes like chocolate but looks like a vagina!
Teen girl #1: Okay… maybe.
–45th & Broadway
Anal Man: I want a grilled chicken wrap. But I don’t want cheese and I want a little bit of dressing on the bread as you’re making it. Some places don’t put dressing.
Cashier: We don’t put dressing here.
Anal Man: Just a bit of dressing. Not too much.
Cashier: Do you want the combo?
Anal Man: No!
–Ranch 1, Union Square
Flagman: Hey man, why you drivin’ over my orange cones?
SUV guy: I need to turn here.
Flagman: You can’t; street’s closed! There’s a big ass crane coming down! See it?…What are you doing? You see that big ass crane? Why you rolling over my cones? It’s dangerous. Street’s closed!
SUV guy: I need to turn here and go down this street!
Flagman: You see that big ass crane? You wanna play chicken with that? Go one block down and come back on the other side. Take you five minutes.
SUV guy: But I need to turn here and go down this street! You can’t block a street in New York, asshole!
Flagman: It’s dangerous. Street’s closed! Back up or get outta the damned truck. What’s the matter with you? Get out of the damned car!
SUV guy: Damn it! Asshole.
Flagman: Damn! He rolled over my cones…Fuckin’ Mercedes driver! Anybody else wanna play chicken with that big ass crane?
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kevin W. Eaches
Charity mugger: Hey! My name’s Lisa and I’d like to talk to you about donating to North Shore Animal League–
Guy: Let me be honest, Lisa. I work in customer service. That means for 8 hours a day, I have to be polite to everyone I speak with and this is my lunch hour. It’s the one hour of my day where I’m not forced to be nice. I’m sure you’re a nice girl, but why don’t you fuck off?
–Broadway & Pine
Overheard by: Mr. X-mas Tree
Hobo: You mean to tell me no one else on this goddamn train has anything else to eat? I hope you all choke on your Christmas dinners!
–C train
Overheard by: MissHell
Toddler waiting for subway with mom: I need a snack.
Mother: You need a smack!
–Franklin Ave
Overheard by: Danielle
Dude: Does Janus like food?
Girl: What?
Dude: Is he into eating?
Girl: I've… eaten… with him… before.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Jon A.
