Hobo: Please man, can I have 25 cents? It’s to eat, ya know…
Man: Here you go. But if I was you, I’d eat something else.
–Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island
Overheard by: Helniev
Hobo: Please man, can I have 25 cents? It’s to eat, ya know…
Man: Here you go. But if I was you, I’d eat something else.
–Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island
Overheard by: Helniev
British chick: This hot chocolate is amazing.
New Zealand chick: I love those Swiss Maid things.
–27th Street office
Counter Guy: K…K…K!…Okay, turkey and brie!
Customer #1: That’s not K, that’s H.
Customer #2: H is the new K.
–Liberty Deli, W. 56th St.
Overheard by: Steve
Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Jon Graboff
Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.
–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street
Overheard by: james uphoff
Husband: Sex with you is great, but it’s no substitute for pepperoni!
–Stop & Shop supermarket, Ridgewood
Overheard by: Dawn
Customer: I see barley, but no beef.
Cafeteria worker: The beef has been melted into it.
–MSKCC cafeteria
Black guy: They’re taking over! Where the shit am I supposed to eat?
–Rivington Street
Customer: I’ll have a slice of the eggplant.
Pizza guy: You know that’s organic right?
Customer: That’s fine. How long have you guys been organic?
Pizza guy: Oh, about 2 weeks now. The white girls are loving it.
–Delancey & Essex pizzeria
Overheard by: Brian
Dad (to son, 6): Do you want to go to Cafe Pertutti or Oren’s Daily Roast?
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: RPK
Waiter #1: Sit anywhere you’d like.
Guy: Thanks.
Waiter #2 diverts him to a small table in an occupied section.
Guy: So by “anywhere you’d like” you guys meant this exact table.
Waiter #2: Thank you.
–Clark’s, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: TG
Woman #1: Oh God, I think I’m getting a horrible yeast infection.
Woman #2: Making bagels down there, huh?
Woman #1: Oh no, I’m not Jewish. I’m making Irish Soda Bread.
–Penn Station
Girl #1: I have nothing green to wear on Thursday.
Girl #2: What do you mean, you don’t own any green? You’re Irish! Green is our color! Along with beer.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
A boy pulls Swedish fish, a king-size Twix, king-size Skittles, and a bottle of lemonade out of his pocket.
His friend sitting next to him says: This kid’s a fucking vending machine! You give him a quarter, he spits out gum!
–1 train
