Fag hag: Give me your left hand. I’m getting a tattoo right here.
Queer: Oooh! Of what?
Fag hag: A cross.
Queer: Sexy!
–Fordham University Ram Van
Overheard by: Ali McE
Fag hag: Give me your left hand. I’m getting a tattoo right here.
Queer: Oooh! Of what?
Fag hag: A cross.
Queer: Sexy!
–Fordham University Ram Van
Overheard by: Ali McE
Crazy hobo to passing Fordham students: Y’all crazy motherfuckers pay 40 grand a year to get a damn education. Y’all don’t need no education. Pay 40 grand to get me food! Hell, I’ll take four dollars! Look at me — I got no education, and I turned out just fine.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: one of those mothafuckers
Wheelbo: I don’t care what they say, I promise you I’ll pay you back.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: MBS
Hobo: I need money for alcohol, drugs, and a hooker… Hey, at least I’m not bullshitting you.
–35th & 4th
Hobo, as girl nearby drops her Vogue: Oh, no! Somebody dropped their Torah!
–E train
Hobo, to passing suit: Hey, asshole, why don’t you get a job like everyone else, and stop taking my money?!
–34th & 8th
Chick: I feel like I can relate more to retarded people than normal people.
–Broadway & Waverly
Girl on cell: What are you talking about?! She’s intellectually retarded. Hang on a sec, okay? Crap! They don’t have The Da Vinci Code.
–Outside The Strand
Black girl: … And we wasn’t laughin’ at him ’cause he got Down Syndrome… [Chuckles] We was laughin’ ’cause he was mackin’ on us so hard!
–Fordham University cafeteria, Rose Hill
Overheard by: So did the helmet get in the way?
Frat boy: Geez, bro, just when I thought you couldn’t get retardeder…
–Park Row
Overheard by: Passerby
Angry girl on cell: I was trying to tell her that she’s fucking retarded… in a very nice way!
–Fontana’s
Professor: You should really consider going to Europe. It may be boring, but it’s cheap!
Ghetto girl in back: Fuck that shit! I’d rather go to Disney!
Professor: Europe is actually less expensive to go to than Disney.
Ghetto girl: Yeah, but only if you stay in a brothel!
Ghetto boy: Don’t you mean ‘hostel’?
Ghetto girl: Same thing, right?
–Fordham University-Rose Hill
Overheard by: Megan
Queer: So, I guess I’m officially part of the Bank of America family now, but I don’t really feel like I am.
Fag hag: What do you mean?
Queer: It’s like my mom married into it, and now I’m the Bank of America’s ignored stepchild.
–Fordham University
Girl yelling to friend across street: Hey, guess what? I smelled it! I smelled it from here!
–Fordham University
Blonde on cell: So, I just took my hair down, and all I smelled was Dove and crack.
–JFK
Overheard by: spanky
Man to no one: It smells like my ex-wife in here!
–Highline Ballroom
Hootchie on cell: No joke — it smelled ripe down there. I be all, ‘Jimmy… D-A-M-N! I’m too busy gagging from the smell to gag on your bits.’
–W Broadway
Girl crying on cell to boyfriend: How could you fuck her?! Her pussy stinks!
–Union Square
Overheard by: SplendidConfusion
Thug on cell: Yo, I’m sure she smells better now, bro!
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: mj
Overly energetic theology professor: Now, let’s talk about the apocalypse!
Several un-enthused students: Yay…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Blonde: I just had the meanest thought in the whole world.
Guy: I doubt it.
Brunette: Tell us what it was, and then we’ll judge.
Blonde: Okay, well, I hope that Tim and Tom don’t realize we have a Spanish test tomorrow, because I always study way more than them and they still score, like, 20 points higher than me.
Brunette: Oh, that’s not mean. There are way meaner thoughts, like I hope Tim and Tom catch rickets so they’re too sick to take the test.
Guy: Yeah, or like let’s force all the Jews out of Germany and burn them in an oven.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Drunk student, after stumbling down the aisle: Where’s the bathroom? Where’s the bathroom?!
Guy in next row to girl beside him: I don’t think we’re the only ones who came to the play drunk.
–Collins Theater, Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Student: This case is about Chadha, who was born in Kenya to Indian parents–
Professor, interrupting: –But is that relevant to his deportation proceeding?
Student: It’s relevant to why nobody wants him.
–Fordham Law School
