Girl #1: My boyfriend totally has better taste in guys than I do.
Girl #2: Totally.
–Fordham University
Girl #1: My boyfriend totally has better taste in guys than I do.
Girl #2: Totally.
–Fordham University
Professor: So what do we know about these debt notes?" (silence) So what do *I* know about these debt notes, that obviously you don't know?
–NYU Law School
Overheard by: Ames
Professor: My favorite words to hear are "just do nothing." My second favorites are "open bar."
–College of Mount Saint Vincent, Bronx
Environmental history professor: Look at some of the items on this menu from a hotel of Chicago Thanksgiving dinner from 1872: loin of buffalo, antelope steak in mushroom sauce, ham of bear, black tail deer, leg of mountain sheep, buffalo tongue… Miss Palin, your table is ready.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
Linguistics professor, about Spanish-speaking families who live in Spanish-speaking neighborhoods: The only English these people hear is from their landlords and social workers.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Latka Hero
NYU professor: So we're going to be walking, and you'll notice I walk pretty fast. But we're in New York, and you're supposed to walk like you know exactly where you're going in life and nothing is in your way. Because if you slow down you'll get mugged. (beat) It's dog eat dog, people.
–NYU Classroom
Russian literature professor: Oh my god, you just totally missed the point of Jesus!
–NYU Classroom
Puzzled student: Professor, according to the syllabus we have a paper due in a week… What's it on?
Equally puzzled philosophy professor: You have a paper due in a week? I was afraid of that!
Puzzled student: Also, according to the syllabus, we don't even have class today. There's…nothing written there.
Equally puzzled philosophy professor: Really? Huh. Well, I must have been drunk when I did that.
–Fordham University
Student: So, I was wondering if I could know how I did on that presentation last week.
Professor: Oh, yes, yes — you did wonderful!
Student: No, I mean, like, how did I do?
Professor: Wonderful. You did wonderful.
Student: So… Is that my grade?
Professor: Yes.
Student: Great, now I have all zero’s and a ‘Wonderful.’ I wonder what that averages out to.
–Fordham University
Roomie #1: Why is this non-slip grip on the new tampon ads such a big deal? When do I really need some super non-slip grip sport tampon?
Roomie #2: You know, when you’re under water.
Roomie #1: Under water?! I am not the Little Mermaid!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: a confused roomate #3
Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
Professor: Does anyone know where the term “Passover” comes from?
Student: It's because the Jews put blood on their doors so Jesus would pass over their house and not kill the first-born son.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: dundun
Professor: When vassals would take an oath of loyalty they would kneel in front of the king and put their hands like this [puts hands in prayer position]. Now, what does this look like?
Student: A vagina?
Professor: No! Praying! It looks like praying!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Marina C
Headline by: belle
Runners-Up:
· “Either way, it helps to kneel.” – Lindsey
· “From The Da Vinci Code’s deleted scenes.” – nick
· “In a refreshing move from the anus, today’s headline contest is brought to you by the vagina. That’s right, Overheard in New York is wiping back-to-front.” – erak
· “Now Get Your Cock Up In This” – B.M.D.
· “Okay, maybe a LITTLE prayer in schools wouldn’t hurt” – space coyote
· “Putting the Pussy on a Pedestal” – Clof
Girl #1: I used to wear a cross, but then one time somebody was like, “you cant wear a cross–you drink!
Girl #2: Did you tell them that Jesus drank?
Girl #1: I should have! Jesus was so down to party!
Girl #2: Bitch, if you turn water into wine, you are the party.
–Fordham University
Guy on phone: It's probably something beyond the bestiality in why you didn't get hired.
–4th & Lafayette
Overheard by: andy
Disembodied voice in crowd: Necrophilia, really?
–Times Square
Man: The thing is: my safety word is "No, harder, harder."
–NY Comic Con
Girl: No, seriously, my parents used to have like a harness and a leash for me, because I used to run away in the airport all the time.
–Fordham Law School
Girl to friend: Hot wax and genitals…either very good, or very, very bad.
–1st Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Will
Guy: Great. She doesn't even know me and already she thinks I have a produce fetish.
–Whole Foods, Chelsea
Overheard by: Hunter (aka,
