Guy: I could be fired for 8 counts of sexual harassment last night.
Girl: Yeah, and that’s just on me alone.
Guy: Oh man, really?
Girl: Yeah, but you bought me a drink, so it’s okay.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy: I could be fired for 8 counts of sexual harassment last night.
Girl: Yeah, and that’s just on me alone.
Guy: Oh man, really?
Girl: Yeah, but you bought me a drink, so it’s okay.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Professor lady: What is your favorite fruit?
Girl #1: J’aime manger les pommes.
Girl #2: Isn’t the rule if it grows underground it’s a vegetable?
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Girl: Yeah, like I mean, I would definitely say that I was in the best shape of my life when I had my eating disorder.
Guy, after long pause: Uhhhhh… at least you're honest!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Rachel
Boricua: Yo, son, I told you! Birdseed don’t know shit about shit!
–Fordham University
Announcer: The 10:30… Shit, the 11:30 six train to Ronkonkoma is now boarding on track eighteen. Shit…
–LIRR terminal, Penn Station
Eight-year-old girl: Mom, look! Mom, they got a nicer elevator than we do! Shit.
–7th & 2nd
Overheard by: BJ
Girl: Awww, all they have is shit!
–NYU dining hall
Loud woman on phone: So, guess what my 18-month-old daughter learned to say? ‘Oh, shit.’ And guess who she learned it from? Mommy.
–Bergen Beach-bound B3 bus
Overheard by: Robert
Jock #1: If I give you a book, will you read it?
Jock #2: Yeah. What’s the title?
Jock #1: It’s called The New Testament.
Jock #2: Man, I had to read the old version for class…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: jack
Undergrad: Ninjas, see. You can’t creep up on them. You can’t creep up on them because actually they’re creeping up on you. And the person you’re creeping up on is actually a mendicant.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: pumpkin
Teen girl to friend: No one knows about Staten Island. It’s like the ninja island.
–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Young lady suit on cell: Want to know what I learned today? Okay, you know how I really hate those rolling briefcases because they fucking ninja you while you’re walking? Well, today I learned that it’s really hard to be angry about a rolling briefcase when it’s being pulled by a genuine midget. It’s like watching a pony pull a cart. It’s adorable!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: she wasn’t too tall herself…
Geeky girl: They should really make a video game about a ninja doing the dishes. That shit would be dope.
–Flatiron District
Brainy guy: I don't think I'm going to buy any books next semester.
Ditzy girl: So what do you expect to do, rent them from some sort of free book rental company?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
College guy: These are the best dinosaurs I've eaten all day!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center Campus
Ecstatic five-year-old girl: The dinosaurs! I can't wait to see the dinosaurs!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Miss Guided
Hippie girl: Yeah, I don't know about the eyeballs, but the dinosaurs are great!
–39th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl on stoop: Yo, man, I wish our dinosaurs could talk.
–St. Mark's & 3rd
Overheard by: Anna P.
Girl on cell: Because–you know what? Because I don't etch on my DVDs with pterodactyls!
–Court Street, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Danielle
Guy rooting through trash: If you were a dinosaur I'd be a dinosaur right beside you.
–W 80th & Amsterdam
Acting student, performing a scene: You cheated on me! You harlot!
Acting professor: No, no! Now would you say ‘harlot?’ If someone called me a harlot I’d say ‘Oh thank you so much!’ You’d say you mother-fucking bitch, you whore, you slut! ‘Harlot’ sounds beautiful, I’d put it on my resume!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: team jeffrey
Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alice
Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: "What it is… what it is!"
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kristin
Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!
–61st & Broadway
Overheard by: lizzerd
Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!
–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope
Overheard by: Annie
Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!
–Fordham University
