JAP: Aww, but you two would be the perfect couple!
Queer: Why?
JAP: Because you’re both gay!
–French Roast Cafe, W 11th St
Overheard by: mound charger
JAP: Aww, but you two would be the perfect couple!
Queer: Why?
JAP: Because you’re both gay!
–French Roast Cafe, W 11th St
Overheard by: mound charger
Queer #1: What did he just say?
Queer #2: He called you maricon. It means faggot in Spanish.
Queer #1: Oh, thank God. I thought he called me Mexican. I was about to be really offended.
–Lorimer St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ray
Tourist: Okay, that was so weird last night. I mean, you took me to a bar, and in the bathroom there was a window that looks out on a gay bar!
Guy: Well you said you wanted the authentic New York experience.
–SoHo
Overheard by: grr
Girl: It smells like blasphemy!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: I only smelled mulch
Tattooed chick: It’s Christa. You remember, Christ with an A, because I’m so fucking godlike.
–8th & A
Overheard by: Meredith
Guy: She looks like the female version of Dave, which is a bit disconcerting to me…He looks like traditional representations of Jesus.
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Philip
Guy: Me and Jesus don’t get along.
–W 30th, between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Maggie
Femme on cell: So, like, our periods stopped at the same time for two hours so we could have sex and I was like, God loves me. Jesus was clearly gay.
–103rd & Broadway
Middle-Aged lady: Yeah, you can’t go switchin’ churches like that. That’s too many different spirits. You’ll be dealin’ with demons and stuff.
–F train
Overheard by: Yanni
College guy: No, really, dude. The guy’s a full-time, licensed exorcist!
–W 4th St A/C/E uptown platform
Overheard by: EJ
Muscular dude: I am devoted to crack but not to Christ! Please explain that to me. I’m a good crackhead, but I ain’t a good Christian!
–Downtown 1 train
Street vendor: NYU students, you gotta love them. They be going through hell and jumping out of windows and shit.
–Spring & Broadway
Transparent guy: That’s why gay guys are the best.
The straight man: How so?
Transparent guy: Gay guys are just bags of hormones. If they want sex, they just ask for it. Girls are like, “Let’s all play coy and innocent!”
The straight man: I never thought of it like that.
Transparent guy: Gay guys are like, “Put your balls into my butt” kinda thing.
The straight man, laughing: Yeah, if I was gay I’d probably have sex all the time.
Transparent guy: Me too…Like just go out…find some gay dude… and touch his balls.
The straight man: Dude, what are you on?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Nozomi
College kid #1: If you must choose, would you rather be taking it up the ass or be the one fucking another guy?
College kid #2: I’d be the one giving it to another guy.
College kid #1: Damn, you really are a fag.
College kid #2: And you?
College kid #1: The same.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Mhunt
Hobo: Make New York safe for women! Lesbian jail! Put those vicious, ass-grabbing lesbians behind bars.
–E/V subway platform, 53rd & 5th
Overheard by: colin
Girl: I think I could totally be a lesbian…except for the whole, like, lack of penises thing.
–Three of Cups bar, 5th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: beepster
Guy: If I ever went to a drag bar, I’d never want to draw attention to myself. But two 400-pound lesbians?! I mean, come on.
–Office, 57th St
Guy: So tell me what those lesbian meetings are really about!
–St Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: mariana
Amateur sociologist: I think a lesbian counts for two gay people because they’re rare.
–Rivington & Ludlow
Hobo #1: Back in the day, lesbians were forced to get married to men.
Hobo #2: So what happened?
Hobo #1: They got jobs and can afford to have girlfriends.
–53rd & 5th
Overheard by: Victor C.
Queer #1: It’s not queer pride. It’s Brooklyn pride!
Queer #2: Uh, sweetie, it’s pretty queer, too.
–Brooklyn Pride Parade
Overheard by: fureigh
Girl: How do I cross the parade?
Cop: Get in line with the rest of the straight people.
–Pride Parade, 14th & 5th
Headline by: Steve
Runners-Up:
· “Chickens have pride, too.” – Gobbling Cock
· “Give It The Old College Try” – Paul K.
· “Maybe a Richard Gere costume” – Corydon
· “Now, Dance! And When We Stop Laughing, You May Cross.” – Andy Adelewitz
· “That, or turn queer on 6th” – Albylicious
· “The Indian and the Construction Worker Were Far More Helpful” – mercavelli
· “The only day of the year when ‘blow me’ isn’t the right answer.” – Jesse Y C
· “Unless of course you’d like to show me some hot girl on girl action.” – Adam
