Queer: When I get stoned, my grundle itches.

–6 train

Overheard by: sheerah

Street vendor, gesturing to enormous bong: No, no…this one is for tobacco.

–St. Mark’s

Elderly man: People are stupid! They don’t do pot!

–R train

Stoned guy: Man, why do chip manufacturers always put the crumbs at the bottom of the bag?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: bernard black

Teenage gangsta: Yo, when I was in the shower, it totally tasted like weed. For real.

–Lafayette & Houston

Passenger: If you see a suspicious package or activity on the platform or train, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell a cop or an MTA employee or me. There might be some money or some weed in there.

–4 train

Overheard by: Mike

Long-haired dude, picking up a cigarette butt: Man, that’s not what I wanted to smoke.

–72nd & Columbus

Overheard by: clarence rosario