Guy #1: Yeah, she was really upset. You can just tell when girls get upset.
Guy #2: They smell different.
Guy #3: Their vaginas get all crinkly.
Guy #2: They smell like… dolphins.
Guy #3: And they turn all white.
Guy #2 to guy #1: You learned something today.
–8th St & University Pl
Female umbrella buyer: Why you callin' me “ma'am”?
Male umbrella seller: “Ma'am” means “a female.” You're a female, right?
Female umbrella buyer: You're a female too!
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: Morgan
Dude: When I was a little girl…
Chick: What?!
Dude: What? I’m comfortable with my sexuality.
Chick: Which is what?!
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy #1: Emily complemented me on not carrying anything to or from work.
Guy #2: She so wants to be a dude.
–41st & Madison
Queer, as someone is trying to push through the crowd: Throw menstrual blood at him! That’s the one thing girls can do to get back at guys! Throw menstrual blood at him!
–Roseland Ballroom
Dad to pre-teen daughter about mom: She is on the rag today. Don’t talk to her this moringing, she’s got an attitude.
–R Train
Girl: I have sexed my period away too!
–Bowery
Businesswoman: So yeah, it still really hurts. I guess it’s cause I got my period last night… [Sees a disgusted look on a male suit’s face.] Blood! Blood! Raaar!
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Withnail
Chick #1: Wait, you like pussy?
Chick #2: Well…
Chick #1, yelling: You like pussy! That’s amazing! This opens up so many options!
–Madison & Rutgers
Aloof teen: So, other than getting robbed and coming back pregnant, how was it?
–27th & 6th
Overheard by: Seamus Diddy
Female cashier, looking over cover of Star magazine: Girl, Angelina is having twins?! I tell you what, that girl needs to get her some birth control pills -and you know why? Because she hot and if I was Brad Pitt I would keep knockin’ her up too.
–86th & 1st
Girl on cell: Ugh! I can’t believe she’s pregnant again! That makes futon baby number two!
–Forever 21, Union Square
Girl checking SMS, to friends: Oh shit…[Reads.] "Happy non mother’s day, pass this on to all your girlfriends and women you know who survived another year of not getting pregnant."
–Toys R Us Times Square
Overheard by: Non Father
Guy, chasing after pregnant woman in the fruit section: It’s not a boy? I swore you told me it was a boy! Honey! Come back!
–Whole Foods, Bowery
Overheard by: office peon
20-something guy #1: Dude, that band was awesome!
20-something guy #2: I know! It makes me wish I were a chick, that way I could have that guy's babies.
20-something guy #1: Me too!
–Southpaw, Park Slope
Overheard by: esgeness
Girl: Do you like MIA?
Guy: I don't know, what are some of his songs?
–1st Ave & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jork
Guy #1: Women should be kept in pods like in The Matrix. And whenever we want one, we just pay a fee and rent them for a few days for sex and cooking. Then we put them back. They shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets…ever.
Guy #2: Or they should be put in a one big room where they sew and cook and sip tea until they get a call.
Guy #1: Yeah, that's a bit more humane, I guess.
–Spring & Varick
