Dad: So, your school called today, honey, and do you know what they said?
Six-year-old girl: No, what?
Dad: That they have to check everyone in your class tomorrow for lice!
Six-year-old girl: Hoorayyyyyy!!
–West 4th St Platform
Overheard by: Jess
Dad: So, your school called today, honey, and do you know what they said?
Six-year-old girl: No, what?
Dad: That they have to check everyone in your class tomorrow for lice!
Six-year-old girl: Hoorayyyyyy!!
–West 4th St Platform
Overheard by: Jess
Girl #1: Jenny said she wants to have kids.
Girl #2: With that vagina? How does she expect to pop them out?
Girl #1: I know, right? She said she’s been to five gynos in the last week.
Girl #2: Lord have mercy on those children — their mama’s vagina is nasty.
–73rd & 2nd
Preppy girl: So, like, Salman Rushdie had to move to America because that guy issued this fatwa thing against him.
Hipster guy: You mean the Ayatollah?
Preppy girl: I think it’s pronounced “aya-toy-a.”
Hipster guy: Ummm…Yeah, if he were Spanish!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: not an Ivy-Leaguer
Little girl: Mommy, look at the fishes!
Mother: You know where all these creatures come from?
Girl: Jesus?
Mother: You betcha.
–New York Aquarium, Coney Island
Overheard by: Swear I’m not listening…
20-something guy, holding long wooden board: Hey, can you spare some change for me and my wood to get a hooker?
Blonde party girl passing by, rubbing wood in sexual way: Oh, I like your wood…
20-something guy: Oh, thank you. (to girl sitting next to him) You'd think someone would give me money just for making them laugh, but no.
–St. Mark's b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: TR
Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?
Weird boy: No, I forgot.
Weird girl: That’s the second time!
Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again!
–D train
Overheard by: Kaela
Chick #1: So, this black girl goes–
Chick #2, looking around: –You know, you really should say ‘African American’ these days. It’s less, you know…
Chick #1: Fucking please. How do I know she’s from Africa? My cousin, Maria, from Puerto Rico — she’s black like a boot. You call her ‘Africa-anything,’ she’ll fucking kill you.
–3 train to 14th St
Girl #1: You want a hot dog?
Girl #2: Sure. What kinds do they have?
Girl #1, looking confused: What do you mean?
Girl #2: I want one with ketchup.
–Nathan's Restaurant
Overheard by: Eva
Indie Girl #1: …I saw the Unicorns like in the basement for $3!
Indie Girl #2: You saw the Unicorns?! Oh my god, you are like totally my new best friend!
Indie Girl #1: Like I’m so in love with them!
Indie Girl #2: Do you want a cigarette?
–Bowery Ballroom bathroom
Overheard by: roxy
Chick #1: Did I ever tell you about my friend's mom who had a baby in the toilet?
(awkward pause)
Chick #2: Now you're gonna tell it?
–Pomme Frite Restaurant
